Sunday, February 28, 2010
Being on this earth as long as I have, I have realized there is no fairy tale ending. Things don't have to be perfect to be right. You don't need to know all the answers and you will not see your future as a clear beautiful painting. You just have to live day by day appreciating what you have, letting go of your mistakes and being who you are. There are no answers there is only life and it is there for us to live it...today!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I have been going to the gym for about four weeks now, 6 days a week. This is a huge accomplishment for me considering I was only going 2-3 days a week just four weeks ago. In addition to going to the gym I have actually been getting to "that place"where I can even say I enjoy going and working out... until today that is.
I did NOT want to work out today for a list of reasons so long I would not want to bore myself by typing them out. The only good thing about working out today, besides getting it done, was that I was able to work out at Premier rather than 24 hour fitness.
I use to work out at 24 last summer but it always seemed no matter how many people were or were not in that gym it was 95 degrees and I always felt like I was going to pass out. Today I work out at Premier but have to venture over to 24 for daycare issues that can not be met by Premier. But let me say, 24 has gone down hill, everything is so dirty and NO one wipes ANYTHING down after they are done. What is really comical to me is there are certain areas of the gym that have signs that say...
"Please help yourself if we have missed a spot."
What is funny about that is there is NOTHING there to help myself with. The bottles that are suppose to have cleaner in them are either gone or they are empty, even the hand sanitizers are empty. Gross!!!!
Okay, I got off on a track there. Back to my topic.. my workout.
My husband and I workout together. People always find it interesting that we work out together and that we do not fight during the workouts.
Today, it took everything I had in me not to hit him with the 30lb weight I had in my hand.
Imagine your husband, who you have bore 3 kids for in 4 years, snapping at you and moving his hands in a motion to try and get you to move faster. I am not sure how many females would be able to handle this. After all, I was moving but apparently not fast enough for him. But besides the snapping, then hand motions there is this face that he gives me that not only screams irritation it screams disappointment and discuss. This face makes me want to scream!!!
Can't he see that he is pushing me beyond my limits? Can't he see my whole entire body hurts to move? Can't he see that I am dripping in sweat? I am moving! I am pulling! I am pushing! My hands are even on the bar! I am getting down low! YES I can feel the pain in my legs! YES my arms are shaking and now you want more from me? You want me to do what? All of this occurs in two hours of my life and leaves me tired, hurting, second guessing myself and feeling defeated.
However, when I walk out of that gym door and I crawl into my vehicle and slide into it saying ouch and moaning I look over at the man that pushed me to the edge of the cliff and see a man who has helped change my life. I am healthy, my family is healthy I am in the best shape of my life and I am a smaller person. So when he says to me.....
"Did you have a good workout honey?"
I just smile and say "Yes babe, thank you so much!"
I am very thankful to have my husband care enough about me to help me reach the goals I want to reach, even if I did not know I had those goals!
Friday, February 26, 2010
For years I have said to myself that I have wanted to write a book. I have probably about 10 books started, (most with GREAT titles) however I have not came close to finishing even one of them.
What stops me?
"Will anyone want to read this?"
"Are you writing this for the correct reason?"
"Is this as funny to someone else as it is to me?"
"Is anyone really going to care?"
The answer.... Yes!
Because no matter what the left or right side of my brain says, I am writing this for me not for anyone else and if it brings me joy then I should do it!
So, as I sit here and look at my desk piled high with papers for football, work, articles I want to read and the spiral notebooks full of what I have written over the years I think to myself today is the day and this is where I am going to start!
Right here, right now.
This blog will be for me. I will write down the thousand of ideas that run through my head, the thoughts, the stories of my life, the stories of my wonderful kids all of it will go here and when I am ready I will organize it into something I will call a book and know that I accomplished it... for me.