Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Getting healthy is the harderst thing I have ever done.

Yep, I said it.  Do I need to say it again?

Getting healthy is the hardest thing I have ever done!!!

I have not lived an easy life.  I grew up without a father, a mother who was more interested in her own needs then the needs of her three kids, I have been homeless, divorced (a couple of times) a single mother for years, suffered from depression, and unemployed.  NONE of that compared to my journey of getting healthy and changing my future.

My journey started 6 years ago after the birth of my third child, a daughter I had with my new husband.  My husband was very motivated to "help" me get off the baby weight.  We had everything we could possibly need in the garage and he would spell out exactly what I needed to do, it was all there for me all I had to do was the work. THAT was the problem, the work.

Sure, he would tell me what exercises I needed to do, but I had no clue what I was trying to achieve. On top of that I continued to starve my body thinking if I ate less that would get me down to the weight I wanted to be at.  Or if I was not starving myself I was making myself and my family instant potatoes, mac and cheese, canned foods I had no idea that the little work that I was doing was being wasted because I did not have the entire plan in place.

Over the next three years I had two more kids and continued an endless battle of trying to lose weight.  But that was the KEY.... I was trying to lose weight.  My goal was to get skinny, get the scale down to a smaller number and try and look like the wife I thought my husband wanted me to be.

At one point in our lives we have to say to ourselves and to those around us:  "I am NOT going to try and lose weight anymore.  I am NOT going to go on a diet anymore."  Instead we need to be honest and be true to our bodies and say:  "I am going to get healthy."  

We live in a society that pushes images of skinny girls on us and makes us feel if we do not look like that too we are not worthy.... BUT we are!


I am happy to be in a better place in my life., I am healthy, I feel great and of course the weight came off. Now I am happy to be heading into the next chapter of my life.. getting others healthy as well.


Watch out... here I come!

Funny things my kids say....

09/08/08 One day when Elianna was crying Gabriella gave her binki to her. Gabriella came up to me and said....
"Mom, I saved the day!"

Gabriella and Michael were walking up the stairs together when she looked at Michael and announced to him...
"I am the Girl in THIS big house!"

Gabriella: "I like all my family!"

If I tell Gabriella that we are going to do something she will say...
"Okay Mom, that sounds like a great idea!"

Gabriella and I were making cookies together one day. She asked if she could eat some of the cookie dough so I gave it to her. She looked at me and said...
"Your the best mommy in the world."

Gabriella's babysitter, Cindy, told Gabriella that she had to pick up her toys and get ready for her rest. Gabriella aksed Cindy..."If I don't pick up my toys I go straight to bed?"
Cindy responded, "yes."
Gabriella said "I'll just go straight to bed then."

Daddy walked outside to go to the BBQ in the backyard. As soon as Gabriella heard the door open she started to scream.. "wait for me, wait for me."
By time she got to the backdoor it was already closed and daddy was outside. She stood at the glass door in a real quiet voice she said... "Oh, dear."

Reuben and Gabriella were playing in the cupboard in the kitchen, they had closed the door and were sitting in there together in the dark. Gabriella flung the door open and announced..
"Welcome to outer space Reuben!"

Gabriella introduced Reuben to a little friend of hers. When the little girl said "Hi Reuben" Gabriella said.. "NO, his name is BABY Reuben!"





Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thoughts have power, and you have got to harness that power by chaning how you think.

The title of this blog says it all.

One of my friends always says to me that her and I are the drivers of the "Crazy Train."  We will make jokes to each other on facebook or in text that says... "choo choo" or "slow down so I can jump on the train".... in reality we both know that we allow our minds to run away with our sanity.

Unlike most people I can admit this and try and learn from it, but what really stands out to me is how often this happens in the lives of others around me especially when it comes to losing weight.

Like most people, you look at exercise and fitness as just one more thing to do, something you "should" do. You do your best to "fit it in" to your otherwise full life. You start an exercise routine with the best intentions and then stop soon after.

If you are thinking about being fat, worrying constantly about weight, then you are actively working against yourself. Your negative thoughts and feelings have created your weight problems and have made you unhappy with yourself. It’s time for you to break the cycle.
You can do that with “Metaphysiques.” This is a powerful mind body practice. Instead of focusing on being fat, you have got to focus on being fit. If you think healthy, it eventually will become a reality for you. Choose to focus on thoughts that feel good, and are positive, is a sure way to create the body you want. The by-product is a beautiful, sexy body. Start thinking exactly how the people with hot bodies think.
At the same time, do not hope; KNOW that you will lose the weight. Just like everything in life, great things come to those who work for a goal and assume the outcome will be in their favor. You’ll be sending out the right energy, and its energy that creates your new reality.
Every one of us has the power to think ourselves into a positive situation. You can do things you never thought you could do. You will create the body you want, starting with your personal dialogue about yourself. Thoughts and feelings turn into actions, and actions turn into reality. Remember, you are opening a new chapter in your life, one that is much more in control and energized.

Don’t fill your head with negative self-talk like fat, ugly, or failure. This inner self-loathing conversation is toxic and success blocking. If you think that you can’t lose the weight, then you know what you are right! The word can’t get so stuck in your subconscious mind that your body believes it and obeys it! You have trained your mind to believe you can’t and now you have told your body the same thing.

Thoughts release neuropeptides-chemicals of emotion - that travel to cells with ever we think or speak. They affect the tension in your muscles, the rate of your heart, your ability to digest food, your overall health, and more. Angry, bitter, or critical thoughts produce chemicals that depress your immune system, make you sick, and keep you fat.

How do you get rid of this negativity?

First, you have to make yourself aware of it.  Much of the dialogue that goes on is so comfortable to us that we don't know it's happening.  Second, try to catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself; then say your name out loud followed by stop. Third, rephrase your thinking - out loud - to be positive.

For example, sometimes you may feel insecure about your workout you just did.  Say out loud:
 
"Michelle, stop! You did your best at the workout and it is going to pay off!"

It is like flipping a switch from negative thoughts to positive empowering thought.  The more you can practicee this the more your thoughts will change to positive ones automatically, and you won't even have to think about it anymore.

You should also frequently say to yourself "I am on my way to changing my life ad I'm proud that I am motivated to change."  Other mantras you could say:

I am getting healthier and more beautiful every day.
I love myself and deserve a healthy body.
I don't need fat anymore.  I am strong.
Changing my body will change my life.

Use powerful, present-tense verbs to boost yourself to a new thought level:  I'm trying to lose weight.... I'm planning to exercises.. I'm hoping to eat healthier... this will help you subconsciously reinforce success.

Thoughts and feeling have power; they can help or hurt you.  Lose the negative thinking and negative emotions and you'll lose the fat.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The power of the mind............

When I was younger I played softball, it was my passion as a kid.  I tried other sports such as basketball and soccer but softball was where my passion was and I was the most successful at. 

I was a pretty good softball player between the ages of 9-13.  My position was short stop and rover, I would jump from either side of the pitcher's mound depending on where the batter usually hit. (determined if we played them previously in the year) I wasn't afraid of that big ball coming at me. I would get down in front of the ball, drop to my knees if it was a grounder and give it my all to stop the runner.  My brother use to take me out to the backyard and hit grounders and pop up balls over and over again at me so that I could run at it in full force with no fears.  Our neighborhood in the summertime use to play softball nightly in the back field of our house till it was so dark none of us could see anymore.  Man, I love that game!

The one downfall to it all was batting.  Batting was another issue all in itself with me.  I had a strong swing at a very young age, my coaches knew and I knew it.  But I lacked one thing, confidence.  I would get up to the batters box and fear would over come me.  By time I reached my side of the batters box my hands would be sweating and I would have the shakes.  It overcame me each and every time.  80% of the time I either walked, by the grace of a terrible pitcher, or I would strike out.  When I struck out I felt as if I had let my whole team down and was a failure.  I would go sit back on the bench and feel horrible about my lack of performance because I knew I was a strong batter and could do better.

In practice my coaches, or our own pitcher, would pitch to me and majority of the time I would hit the ball.  Not only did I hit the ball I would hit it out into left field over the heads of my team mates, it was incredible to watch.  Swing after swing I would hit that ball with all my might and watch it fly out there.  Each time I hit the ball, my confidence would rise higher and higher and I would tell myself that THIS week was going to be different, I was going to get up to that plate in a game in do what I knew I could do... hit the DAMN ball!

Each week, however, I would get the same butterflies as I would see my name on the batting order sheet and as my time approached self doubt would enter my mind again and once again I would go up there and usually strike out. 

I never understood at that point in my life how powerful the mind is and when we let self doubt enter our minds it is a destruction like no other.  Even now, at 37 years old self doubt creeps into my mind and takes over and destroys what I work so hard for. 

Sometimes I will be at the gym working out and my husband will rack a weight amount for me to do and I look at and the first thing out of my mouth is "I can't do that!"  Why is is that we doubt ourselves before we even try?  Why is it that we allow failures in the past to control our future successes?  I know in my mind I could have played softball all through Junior High and High School, I had a talent but I allowed self doubt to take over and stop me dead in my tracks.

I refuse to allow that anymore!  I keep saying I am going to get my body to a certain fitness level and I keep saying I am going to get certified to be a trainer and I keep saying I am going to do my own business.  I keep saying these things as self doubt creeps into my head each time, at all times and today I am saying this to my self doubt:

"You will not control me any longer!" 

I WILL be at my fitness goal!
I WILL be a trainer and a life coach!
I WILL have my own business!
I WILL no longer let self doubt control me!

If I can fight this self doubt that I have had in my life for 30 some years, you can too!  Do today what you have doubted you could do, we all have it in us we just need to say to ourselves one day... "enough is enough!"

"There's always the motivation of wanting to win. Everybody has that. But a champion needs, in his attitude, a motivation above and beyond winning."
-Pat Riley

Monday, February 14, 2011

24 hour withdrawl.... I am going to make it, I am going to make it, I am going to make it......

"Hello, my name is Michelle and I am a bodybugg addict."  (Crowd says, "hello Michelle") 

It has been 24 hours since I have officially taken off my bodybugg and removed it from my house.  I get up every morning between 5:05am and 5:15am to the sound of my phone trying to vibrate off my end table.  Today my phone went off and not 5 seconds later I had a text message from Carmen saying the bugg did not download and is showing she burned no calories.  Within 15 seconds came another text, and then another, and then another.  By time I stumbled to my bathroom I had 5 text messages from an a panic stricken calorie tracking girl and thought to myself, "I have just transferred my OCD bodybugg habit to one of my Best friends and now she has it!"  :)

As I made my way downstairs to start my normal routine of my day it occurred to me, my routine was broken.  Normally I would get my tea, yes GREEN TEA, and then I would go and download my bugg, post my results on facebook, plan my meals for the day and then play around on facebook as I completed my waking up process (which really meant I was waiting for Teresa to post her bugg updates so I could compare to hers)  With that gone today, I was lost.  I had nothing to download, no meals to calculate and no waiting to compare to Teresa's stats.  I had nothing to do! 

(Luckily there was a HUGE bag from the Coach store to distract me, but only for a few minutes since I could not open the package until my husband woke up.. but that is another blog)

That is pretty much how the rest of my day went.  I felt at a loss, like something was missing.  No downloads to check, no steps to check, just me myself and I.  I found myself at one point in the kitchen and I was feeling like I needed to snack and it crossed my mind, "If I eat that I am going to have to account for it" and then I remembered that I didn't have to account for it... or anything!  Slowly, I started to feel this weight lift from my shoulders as the day progressed and I thought less and less about it and as I sit here tonight typing this I have to say.... it feels pretty damn good to be free of something that watches me like a hawk!

I did the work.  I gave it my all, I achieved several goals and I am walking away... far away.  I am thankful for my time with the bugg and it will be a stepping stone I will use for future clients to come but for me, I am done with it and I feel GREAT!

The question that now lingers is... what do I do with my mornings as I am waking up?  ;)