Why are we always sorry?......

Getting into the shower this morning, I went to play a song on YouTube and this commercial caught my eye and really spoke to me today.

If you really watch the video and hear how the women are represented the second time you can see how by NOT saying sorry you not only change the tone of your thoughts, but it allows a person to appear more confident and secure.

My friend and I have an inside joke about the old me. When I was in my early and mid 20's, I lived in a town called Milwaukie. This is actually the high school I graduated from as well. I lived on a street called River Road with my two boys as a single mom. I was a bit out of control at that age and time of my life. I was a good mom and my kids came first, but my attitude and the way I treated my body was out of control. I drank way too much, and I did not eat to fuel my body. Rather, I ate just to recover from the hang overs. I held two jobs, went to school full time and put my boys through private Catholic school all on my OWN. So that part of my life was in control, it was just the rest that was hanging on by a thread.

I was also not so...... nice. I would tell you what I thought and could care less about how it affected a person. I had a sharp tongue that was ruled by nothing but its own will to be heard. I would fight against anyone that came up against me, and I would go out of my way to initiate fights as well. I stood my ground right or wrong because I was NOT going to allow anyone to tell me what to do, think, or how to act. My friend calls that girl... "River Road Mellie."

I am now in my early 40's and "River Road Mellie" rarely comes out in me anymore. Over the years, as I have aged and matured and understood my actions have consequences, I have learned to keep River Road Mellie at bay.

Now, I try and show respect, keep the peace and find ways to make the world better in any small way that I can. But what has also came with this new Mellie is "Sorry Mellie". I seem to always be sorry.
If someone wrongs me, internally I blame myself for it and I apologize. If someone is rude to me I will go out of my way to be even more nice to that person as if I have done something wrong to them. At times I apologize before I speak my mind on something that is hurtful to me. I am sorry if I do not perform at the top level of my business and feel I let others down. I am sorry if I am not able to help people in their lives because it takes away from my family or my sanity. I was sorry I was diagnosed with MS because I felt as if I would be a burden to my family or appear weak. Five minutes ago, I walked past my nanny in the hallway and said sorry because I thought I was in her way! Why do we find it always in OUR vocabulary to be sorry when there is no reason to be sorry?

I have no lesson today and have no words of wisdom to shine on this subject. I am simply putting this out there for others so you can ask yourself... "Why am I always sorry?"

Perhaps watching this video will strike a core in you too and as you go about your day today, you can make little changes as well that prevent YOU from being sorry. There is nothing wrong with being kind, understanding and sympathetic, but this DOES not have to relate into being sorry all the time. We can still be strong and caring women, without being sorry all the time.


Make it a NOT sorry day.


~Mellie

Dear God-1

Dear God,

Thank you for a restless sleep last night.  My mind was fully aware of my surroundings and I was hearing the messages coming through to me.  Although I was not fully sleeping till 5 am thank you for allowing me to wake up feeling refreshed and full of hope.

Thank you for the feeling of hope.  It has been so long since it has been alive in me and I know it is because I am allowing YOU to take my issues, my fears and my worries rather than me focusing on them.  I turned from you out of anger and despair and it only brought me more heartache.  As I turn back to you, thank you for opening your arms to me and allowing me to learn, grown and heal and walk the life you want me walk.

This was not my fault.  I did not do this and I am not going to hang on the cross for it any longer. I believed in you, I believed in what was right and I set out each day to be the best person I could be in my situation and make the most of it.  I now know I do not have to make the best of the situation... I have to demand it be the best or walk away from it knowing I did all I could.

I have faith, little by little that things will work out the way I always dreamed and I have faith YOU will move mountains for me.  But I am also aware that you have three answers to prayers:  Yes, Maybe and I have something better for you.  I will follow you and wait for Your answer.

Thank you for blessing me with health today and my family with health.  Help me continue to lead my family and do an even better job working for You to bring my family closer to You and your word.

In Jesus name I pray... Amen

A letter to my youngest daughter.......

Elianna,

There is so much I want to say and so many things that come to my mind when I think about you, I am overwhelmed with emotions and at a loss for words.

You came into our family as a surprise.  Your brother Reuben was just 3 months old when we learned we were having you.  Your daddy and I were excited and scared at that same time. We knew having two babies in the same house, only a year apart, would be a challenge for not only me but for our family.  What we did not know was the impact you would have on each and everyone of us. 

You have always been a good girl.  Your personality in the beginning was a quiet one.  Sure, you cried like most babies do, but you were happy to just sit and watch all the commotion around you with your siblings.  Your eyes were always watching what everyone was doing and we could tell you were always learning.  From the day your brothers and sister met you, you had them each wrapped around your tiny finger.  Reuben was by far the most curious about you but Gabriella was the one who would wanted to mother you and she always made sure you had anything you needed.  You learned this quickly and used it to your advantage.  Your favorite game was tossing things off your high chair and having her pick it back up for you-over and over again.

As you grew your bond with Reuben became apparent more so then with the other 3 siblings.  You loved everyone and everyone loved you but you and Reuben shared something between the two of you that we will never fully understand and that you both continue to have today.   Reuben is your biggest fan and your biggest protector.  Grow up understanding that and knowing that he would do anything for you and you should do the same for him.

When you look back on your baby pictures please understand, that is how your hair was!  No matter what your dad or I would do your hair would stand straight up and it always looked like you were shocked. I finally bought you a shirt that said  Daddy does my hair, because your hair was so out of control.

As you have grown over the past six years you have brought your family so much joy.  You are a confident, outgoing little girl who wears her heart on her sleeve.  You make no excuses for who you are, even at this age, but you are mindful about others and their feelings.  You are kind and respectful and you are the first person to go and try and help someone feel better if you can see they are feeling sad or insecure.  You are quick to make friends and you are even quicker to make someone feel good.

You are full of love, happiness and a witty personality that keeps your family laughing.  At times you can be demanding and inpatient but you always have a good balance with those characteristics by the kindness you show to everyone. (We are not fully sure where you got those traits from)  You love easily and you hurt easily.  As your mother I see this now and worry about you but will continue to help guide you through this ever changing  world in hopes that you will be strong enough to sustain the bad times to continue onto the good times in life. 

You have such a beautiful smile and warmness about you, when you walk into a room people notice you right away.  It's funny because when you were a baby it was the same way because of your hair standing straight up, now it's because of the beautiful personality you possess. 

You have always talked about, admired and wanted to know everything there was about being a Princess all while not knowing that you are the Princess of our family.  You are an amazing funny little girl who has the whole world at your fingertips and I know will be something big in this world.  

Elianna Grace Galvan, you are a gift from God.  You came to us unexpectedly and stole all our hearts.  I hope that you have a wonderful 6th birthday today and you fully understand how loved you are.  You will always be your mommy and daddy's little Princess.

We love you! 

 http://flipagram.com/f/Fl0W9c6r5W

WOD- July 21, 2014

Today's workout:

Barbell Curls:
25 lbs x 10 - 2 sets to warm up
45 lbs X 10 - 3 sets

Seated Hammer Curls:
12.5lbs X's 10- 4 sets each arm

Triceps Dip Machine:
150lbs X's 15 - 3 sets

Triceps Rope Push Downs:
50lbs X's 10 -2 sets
60lbs X's 10- 2 sets
30lbs X's 10-2 sets

Cable EZ Bar Bicep Curl:
45lbs X's 10 -2 sets
50lbs X's 10-2 sets
30lbs X's  till failure

Wide Grip Bicep Curls
30lbs X's 10 -2 sets
40lbs X's 10-2 sets
20lbs X's till failure

Followed my a 3 mile run AFTER dinner.

The Wide Grip Biceps Curl works your biceps from a different angle than the traditional biceps curl and is great to add to your routine or alternate with the traditional curl. The wider grip targets the lateral or outer portion of the muscle.
Repeat this movement for as many repetitions as you can until failure.
Remember to always use a spotter when performing this and almost every other free weight exercise!

How to perform The Wide Grip Biceps Curl Exercise:

• Grab a workout bar with an underhand grip, your hands as far apart as comfortable.
• Hold the bar down at arm's length in front of you.
• Bend at the elbows and curl the bar as high as you can without moving your elbows forward or back.
• Pause, then slowly lower the bar.

- See more at: http://www.fitnessandfreebies.com/exercise/exercises/wide_grip_biceps_curl.html#sthash.k3MF1BF4.dpuf

The Wide Grip Biceps Curl works your biceps from a different angle than the traditional biceps curl and is great to add to your routine or alternate with the traditional curl. The wider grip targets the lateral or outer portion of the muscle.
Repeat this movement for as many repetitions as you can until failure.
Remember to always use a spotter when performing this and almost every other free weight exercise!

How to perform The Wide Grip Biceps Curl Exercise:

• Grab a workout bar with an underhand grip, your hands as far apart as comfortable.
• Hold the bar down at arm's length in front of you.
• Bend at the elbows and curl the bar as high as you can without moving your elbows forward or back.
• Pause, then slowly lower the bar.

- See more at: http://www.fitnessandfreebies.com/exercise/exercises/wide_grip_biceps_curl.html#sthash.k3MF1BF4.dpuf

The Wide Grip Biceps Curl works your biceps from a different angle than the traditional biceps curl and is great to add to your routine or alternate with the traditional curl. The wider grip targets the lateral or outer portion of the muscle.
Repeat this movement for as many repetitions as you can until failure.
Remember to always use a spotter when performing this and almost every other free weight exercise!

How to perform The Wide Grip Biceps Curl Exercise:

• Grab a workout bar with an underhand grip, your hands as far apart as comfortable.
• Hold the bar down at arm's length in front of you.
• Bend at the elbows and curl the bar as high as you can without moving your elbows forward or back.
• Pause, then slowly lower the bar.

- See more at: http://www.fitnessandfreebies.com/exercise/exercises/wide_grip_biceps_curl.html#sthash.k3MF1BF4.dpuf

Water, water, water, water....

This week I want to talk about the basics of getting healthy.  P

People who tend to live a healthy lifestyle and/ or are educated in fitness and nutrition tend to leave out the most basic facts about getting healthy, because they think it will be a "given" to their friends or clients.  But as a formally fat person (FFP!),  I know these are lessons that not only need to be shared but practiced as one begins to transform their bodies and lives.

Today that one fact is going to be about water, and your daily intake of it.

Here are some facts about our bodies:

• Our muscles are 75% water
• Our brain- 90% water
• Our blood- 83% water
• Our bones - 22% water.

This demonstrates how much and important water is to our daily lives.  Most of us grew up being told to drink water to stay hydrated and to keep our skin clear, but in no time in my life was it stressed how important water was to our body as a whole (maybe in health education but I slept through most of that class).

As a whole, our society needs to lose weight.  No matter where you are in your journey of getting healthy, I think it is be safe to assume you have at a least a few unwanted pounds that you would like to loose.

Here is a news flash:  Water helps you lose weight!  Yep. Water.

Water acts as an appetite suppressant, it has zero calories, it aids in the flushing of toxins in your body and when you drink enough water your body learns that it no longer needs to retain water because you are providing it more than enough.  Let me say that again..... When you drink enough water your body LEARNS that it no longer needs to retain water because you are providing it more than enough.  

You will hear me say this statement a lot as we talk about getting healthy:  "Your body learns."

There are MANY benefits to drinking water.  Better skin, helps prevent infections and other health problems.  Water makes your brain work better and drinking water generally means you will be in better general health.   Muscle and joints can become stronger and water assists in carrying oxygen to the muscles.

Water is vital for keeping your system clean.  It helps with detoxification and assists the bile acids in flushing your system.  It can help boost your metabolism by as much as 30%.  Water will also help with cravings.  Simple cravings for salt and sugar can be a sign of simple dehydration, not a cry from your body for good.

So how much water should one consume in a day?  You can line up 100 professional and ask them this question and you will get 100 different answers. But with my experience, my education, and lessons learned as a FFP, I consistently suggest to people 5 liters of water per day.  This equals out to be 169 ounces of water per day.  Now before you close down my blog and think I am crazy hear me on this.

No, you do not want to sit down and drink 5 liters of water in a short period of time.  But yes, drinking 5 liters of water a day is not only beneficial to your health, the function of your body but it also will aid in that weight loss.  Many people ask me, does this include the water in my protein shakes, coffee, soda or vodkas waters or those pretty and expensive Vitamin waters?  The answer is NO.  You should consume 5 liters of pure water each and every day.

I will try not to go off on a rant about Vitamin Waters, but please people save your money and your bodies!!!  In my opinion this is the last kind of water you want to consumer.  If you look at the ingredients the second ingredient in those handy and cute little Vitamin waters is crystalline fructose. That’s a fancy word for high-fructose corn syrup, pretty much the worst legal thing you can put in your body. There’s a ton of it in the bottle: about 32 grams and 125 calories. It’s basically no different as drinking a can of coke, except that it doesn’t taste as good.  In addition it is made with distilled water. There’s a lot of controversy surrounding whether or not distilled water is good or bad for you.  I know I do not want to put anything in my body that is surrounded by controversy. One fact you may not know about distilled water is it  is stripped of its minerals (“soft”) it will attract vitamins and minerals from your body and you will expel them. That would mean vitamin water actually takes nutrients from you.  And finally, there aren’t that many vitamins in it. Way less than in a glass of orange juice. 

Coke, the maker of Vitamin Water is being sued for it's health and marketing claims of the product.  A federal judge ruled that Vitamin water will not, as its labels promise, keep you “healthy as a horse.” Nor will it bring about a “healthy state of physical or mental being”. Instead, Vitamin water is really just a sugary snack food; non-carbonated fruit coke disguised as a sports drink. Because it’s composed mostly of sugar and not vitamin-laden water, judge John Gleeson held that Vitamin water’s absurd marketing claims were likely to mislead.

Coke's defense of its vitamin water marketing quickly became a national laughing stock after it claimed, in 2010, that "no reasonable consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking vitamin water was a healthy beverage."  A federal judge denied Coca-Cola's motion.

So even though it looks good, it has a bunch of pretty colors  stay away from the flavored and vitamin waters!

Along with telling the people I help to get their 5 liters in a day I advise them to add lemon juice to 2 liters of the 5 they are going to be drinking.  You want to add enough lemon juice to the water so it appears cloudy. Now, I am a busy mom of 5 so I do not have time to fresh squeeze my lemon juice.  I do however purchase lemon juice from Whole Foods that is organic, and this is the brand I suggest to those who I help.

Why lemon juice in the water?

Losing weight is nearly impossible without an effective digestive system. Poor digestion leads to the reduced nutrient absorption and retained toxin levels. Both can slow metabolism and make weight loss tougher.

Starting your morning with a glass of warm (or cold) lemon water introduces a healthy natural digestive aid into your stomach. The citric acid interacts with other acids and enzymes in your stomach to jump start your day of problem-free digestion.

Lemons improve your digestive system by reducing symptoms of heartburn and bloating. It even stimulates the liver by dissolving uric acid. Calcium builds bone density and potassium helps the brain and nerves cells function – two more reasons lemons are smart food.

Lemon zest can aid weight loss because the zest contains pectin, which is a soluble, dietary fiber that can lower LDL cholesterol levels and prevent spikes in blood sugar. The Journal of the American College of Nutrition concluded that, after eating pectin, hunger levels are reduced for four hours.

An average lemon weighs 100 grams. Of that, more than 90 grams is water. The rest is 8.63 grams of carbohydrates, .4 grams of protein and .4 grams of fiber. There is neither fat nor cholesterol, but, there are 13 important vitamins. So, for a fruit that is almost all water, what’s in there that’s so good for fitness and health? The answer is citric acid.

Drinking water with lemon juice will activate the burning off of stored fat in your body.  Water with lemon juice is a bile thinner, helping bile process fat better.  The lemon juice assists the water with detoxing your body as well and flushing out the toxins.  In addition the lemon juice makes you thirsty and thus allowing you to WANT to curb that thirst with MORE water.

Now most people will scuff at me when I tell them the amount of water they need to drink.  I will get a list of excuses, false myths about consumption of that much water and reasons they can not possibly drink that much in one day.  But what I have found over the years is that each and every person I have helped is able to not only manage getting the water consumed but will drink even more as they progress in their journey.

People are full of excuses.  They will come up with reason after reason as to why they can not drink this much water and the most common is that they can not go to the bathroom that much.  But again, I say to you that your body will learn and you will adjust and your bladder will adjust as well.

The choice is yours to make but if you are starting a new journey, this is the first step I would encourage you to take long before workouts and dietary changes.

With my friends and clients I will make it a competition/accountability event during the day.  I will have a group of people who I have in group text that will text the group for every liter they consume.  This not only keeps you accountable it also keeps everyone else motivated.  Grab some friends and give it a try! 

If you would like to join in on water motivational challenges feel free to request to join my Monthly Challenge Facebook page.  This is a Facebook page dedicated to getting healthy, building relationships with others who have similar if not the same goals as you.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/283984468364052/

Live the best life you can live..... TODAY!