The Love Dare-Day Twenty Three

[Love] always protects. – 1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV

Marriage is made up of many things, including joys, sorrows, successes, and failures.  But when you think about what you want marriage to be like, the furthest thing from your mind is a battleground.  However, there are some battles you should be more than willing to fight.  These are battles that pertain to protecting your spouse.

Unfortunately your marriage has enemies out there.  They come in different forms and use different strategies, but nonetheless they will conspire to destroy your relationship unless you know how to ward them off.

Some are clever and seem attractive, only to undermine your love and appreciation for one another.  Others try to lure your heart away from your spouse by feeding you unhealthy fantasies and unrealistic comparisons.  It’s a battle you must wage to protect your marriage – when love puts on armor and picks up a sword to defend its own.  Your mate and your marriage need your constant protection from things like:

Harmful influences.  Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home?  The Internet and television can be productive and enjoyable additions to your life, but they can also bring in destructive content and drain away precious hours from your family.  The same thing goes for work schedules that keep you separated from each other for unhealthy amounts of time.

You can’t protect your home when you’re rarely there, nor when you’re relationally disconnected.  You have to fight to keep balance right.

Unhealthy relationships.  Not everyone has the material to be a good friend.  Not every man you hunt and fish with speaks wisely when it comes to matters of marriage.  Not every woman in your lunch group has a good perspective on commitment and priorities.  In fact, anyone who undermines your marriage does not deserve to be given the title of “friend.”  And certainly you must be on guard at all times from allowing opposite-sex relationships at work, the gym, or even church to draw you emotionally away from the one to whom you’ve already given your heart.

Shame.  Everyone deals with some level of inferiority and weakness.  And because marriage has a way of exposing it all to you and your mate, you need to protect your wife or husband’s vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.  Their secrets are your secrets (unless, of course, these involve destructive behaviors that are putting you, your children, or themselves in grave danger).  Generally speaking, love hides the fault of others.  It covers their shame.

Parasites. Watch out for parasites.  A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage.  They’re usually in the form of addictions, like gambling, drugs, or pornography.  They promise pleasure but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money.  They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love.  Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present.  If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart.  If you don’t, it will destroy you.

The Bible speaks plainly about this protective role, often using the analogy of a shepherd.  God warned, “My flock has become prey … food for all the beasts of the field.”  How so?  “For lack of a shepherd.”  Not because these men were too weak to perform their duties but because they didn’t pay attention.  Instead of watching to make sure that the sheep weren’t being picked off by predators, “the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock” (Ezekial 34:8).  They took extra good care of their own needs and appetites but gave little thought to the safety of those under their supervision.

Wives – you have a role as protector in your marriage. You must guard your heart from being led away through novels, magazines, and other forms of entertainment that blur your perception of reality and put unfair expectations on your husband.  Instead you must do your part in helping him feel strong, while also avoiding talk-show thinking that can lure your attention away from your family.  “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1).

Men – you are the head of your home.  You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage.  This is no small assignment.  It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action.  Jesus said, “If the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into” (Matthew 24:43).  This role is yours.  Take it seriously.

Today’s Dare

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.


You will be restored if you remove unrighteousness far from your tent.  (Job 22:23).

I have never been one of those women who spend her time watching soap operas, reading magazines on how to do this or that or romance novels.  I had a hard life growing up and learned there were no fairy tales and there are no magical kingdoms with happily ever afters.

But with that being said I do believe in REAL love.  I do believe in soul mates and I do believe in people finding who they were meant to be with.  I enjoy movies that focus on these sort of beliefs such as:

The Notebook http://youtu.be/S3G3fILPQAU
What Dreams May Come http://youtu.be/TPZpQsEFcKI
My Life http://youtu.be/L8dAe3u0vWg
Fireproof http://youtu.be/84q0SXW781c
The Family Man http://youtu.be/OnouJoQs52c 
Romeo and Julie the 1968 Version http://youtu.be/gvCpDknV6Ps
  These movies, my top choices, describe not only a love between and a man and a woman but it shows the struggles that life can bring and how love can overcome those struggles.  These types of movies glorify the love two people share rather than glorify hate, adultery, and violence like most other movies.  They don't cloud your perception with unrealistic expectations for a man or for a women they just focus on what is important.... LOVE.

I try to keep a good balance in my home, I have not always been good at it, and I try and let my hubby know that he is the ONLY man for me and the only man I am focused on.  There is no opportunity for me to have my heart taken because it belongs to only him.  My hubby is my life, he is my best friend, he is my protector and he is the love of my life.  I will do what I need to do till the day God calls me home to not only say these things but to show him.

When I was given a real second chance with my hubby and he not only came home physically but mentally I removed influences that would hinder my relationship with him.  And most importantly I got out of God's way and gave it all to Him to work on rather than trying to control everything.

My marriage has been restored, my faith has been restored and our love has been restored.

~Mellie

************
Men – you are the head of your home.  You are the one responsible before God for guarding the gate and standing your ground against anything that would threaten your wife or marriage.  This is no small assignment.  It requires a heart of courage and a head for preemptive action.

Hope. Faith. Trust. Love. Patience. Desire. Understanding. Prayer. Peace.

I decided to write the words that came to mind, when I asked myself to describe my wife and what she seeks in this life/what characteristics best describe her.

It is a tremendous responsibility knowing that my wife loves me with all her being, and her happiness--her true happiness and peace for her soul lies for the most part within my hands. Here is a woman, that like all husbands I suppose, I would not hesitate to defend her and lay down my life for hers. And yet, life is rarely so dramatic.

So far I have not been called upon to save her life in this manner. Rather, I have been called upon to lead her and our family to a place of peace, with a foundation of love and faith. It has been a long-time coming. My wife has been patiently waiting, guiding me...hoping for a better day.

As a child, I felt abandoned by my biological mother. As a young adult, my sister who was very close to me, died unexpectedly. My mother, after being reunited for a few years, died unexpectedly of cancer. These experiences only added to my sense of abandonment. That sooner or later, everyone and anything dear to me would be taken or otherwise leave me.

While not a psychologist, I have come to learn that much of my past behavior was a defense mechanism of sort. I had the mentality that bad things would happen...so why not hasten the occurrence and get it out of the way already. After all, it is always the uncertainty, they say, that is the worst. Makes sense, right?

I thought so too.

For many years...decades...I lived my life this way. For today. Tomorrow was not going to come. Reckless...hasten the "bad thing" to happen already.

When Michelle and I were apart, for the first time I felt what it was to really love someone. She was gone. I had left. And I missed her and felt a pain that I never known before. The pain that I saw in her..emotionally and physically, when I communicated to her that it was time for me to move on....was something I wish but know I can never take back. But, the experience I know...however painful and regretful was, unfortunately, necessary for me.It allowed me to understand what love was...true love...and to realize it had been with me all along. That home with my wife and family is, in fact, where I belong.

When Michelle accepted me back, I felt for the first time since a small child that I was with someone that truly was never going to leave me.

We will have ups and downs in our marriage. God willing, we have another 50 years in us...and I know I can screw up a lot in a day...let a long 5 decades:).

But I also know, for the first time in my entire marriage...that I am not "missing out" on anything by being married to Michelle. Rather, I am truly when of the few lucky ones that has found the woman of my dreams...loves her...is in love with her...and--is loved by her. It is an honor to be her husband and represent our family. An honor that I now take seriously and will protect it from all threats, at any cost.

My wife's prayers have been answered. It has been a long journey, but now--we can take the rest of it (truly) together.

~Joseph

The Love Dare- Day Twenty Two

I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness.  Then you will know the Lord. – Hosea 2:20

As Christians, love is the basis of our whole identity.  Our spiritual rebirth came about because “God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

When asked to clarify what the greatest commandments of all were, Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart … your soul … your strength … your mind … and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).

Our love for each other is supposed to be how people distinguish us as Christ’s disciples (John 13:35).  It is the root and ground of our existence (Ephesians 3:17), meant to be expressed with passion and fervency (1 Peter 4:8).  It is a quality that we are to “abound” in more and more (1 Thessalonians 3:12), always getting better at it, becoming increasingly defined by it.

So if love is what we were created to share, what do you do when your love is rejected?  How do you handle it when the one to whom you’ve pledged your life stops accepting the love you’re called to give?

The account of prophet Hosea is one of the most remarkable in the Bible.  Against all logic and propriety, God instructed him to marry a prostitute.  He wanted Hosea’s marriage to show what Heaven’s unconditional love looks like towards us.  Hosea’s union with Gomer produced three children but, as expected, this woman who had long made her living in immorality was not content to stay faithful to one man.  So Hosea was left to deal with a broken heart and the shame of abandonment.

He had loved her, but she had spurned his love.  They had grown close, but now she had been disloyal and adulterous, rejecting him for the lust of total strangers.

Time passed, and God spoke to Hosea again.  God told him to go and reaffirm his love for this woman who had been repeatedly unfaithful.  This time she had reached a new low and had to be bought off the slave block, but Hosea paid the price for her redemption and bought her home.  Yes, she had treated his love with contempt.  She had dealt treacherously with his heart.  But he welcomed her back into his life, expressing an unconditional love.

This is a true story, but it was used as a picture of God’s love for us.  He showers His favor on us without measure, though in return we often don’t pay attention.  At times we have acted shamefully and deemed His love an intrusion, as if it’s keeping us from what we really want.  We have rejected Him in many ways – even after receiving His gift of eternal salvation – and yet He still loves us.  He still remains faithful.

Even so, His love doesn’t keep Him from calling us to account for our mistreatment of Him.  We pay more of a price for our rejection than we often realize.  Yet He still chooses to respond with grace and mercy.  “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace” (Ephesians 1:7).  In Him we have the model of what rejected love does.  It stays faithful.

Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount.  He said to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).

"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  For even sinners love those who love them.  If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you?  For even sinners do the same"  (Luke 6:32-33).

"Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men" (Luke 6:35).

From the vantage point of the wedding altar, you would never have dreamed that the person you married might later become to you a kind of "enemy," one you would need to love as an act of almost total sacrifice.  And yet far too often in marriage, the relationship does indeed dwindle down to that level.  Even to the point of betrayal or, sadly, to unfaithfulness.

For many, this is the beginning of the end.  Some respond by rapidly moving toward a tragic divorce.  Others, more protective of their reputation than even their own happiness, decide to keep the charade going.  But they have no intention of liking it--much less of loving each other again.

This is not the model, however for the follower of Christ.  If love is to be like His, it must love even when its overtures are returned unwanted.  And for your love to be like that, it must be His love to begin with.

You can give undeserved love to your spouse because God gave undeserved love to you--repeatedly, enduringly.  Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least.

Ask Him to fill you with the kind of love only He can provide, then purpose to give it to your mate in a way that reflects your gratefulness to God for loving you.  That's the beauty of redeeming love.  That's the power of faithfulness.


Today's Dare
Love is a choice, not a feeling.  It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction.  Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.  Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you.  Period.  I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

I have chosen the faithful way. (Psalm 119:30)

This is a very powerful chapter for me and the story of Hosea is one I was not aware of.  What true love God demonstrates to us and what true faith Hosea demonstrated to God when he did what he was told to do.  I ended up reading the story of Hosea and Gomer so I had a full understanding of it.

First Hosea was told to marry a sinner, one who was a known prostitute.  After they had their children she could not fight off the demons and left him and her kids and went back to being a prostitute.  God told Hosea to go and bring his wife back from her sins and love her and forgiver her and show her unconditional love as HE shows us.  When Hosea found his wife she was being sold as a prostitute and he had to buy her.  Hosea told his wife Gomer he loved her and she was to come home and never share herself with another again.  That unconditional love Hosea showed his wife is so powerful to me and so moving, I was almost in tears reading the story yesterday.

In my hubby's blog yesterday  http://michellegalvan.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-love-dare-day-twenty-one.html
  

 My hubby stated "I have an amazing, supportive, tolerant wife."  I do not think I am tolerant, I think being tolerant is giving the impression that I allow things to happen, I tolerate behaviors when in reality that is not the case.  I do not tolerate certain things in my marriage but what I have learned to be is forgiving.  This is the message that I try and express to my hubby. I will not tolerate certain behaviors but I will forgive them with the promise of change.  I feel Hosea was the same way, he forgave to show his love for his wife and for God and that is what I do in my marriage.  I want my hubby to know and feel unconditional love given to me by the grace of God.

Marriage is hard.  It takes work.  There is not one day that you can just let your marriage be on idle.  Just like you work hard at work and you give it all you got to get to the next promotion or achieve the next bonus you have to do this in your marriage.  So many of my friends just think they can get married and live happily ever after but it doesn't work that way.  We spend weeks, months and sometimes years learning about our partners and learning their ins and outs why when we get married do we think the work is over?  Why do we think we can just lay around on the couch and pass gas and scratch ourselves?  (No, my hubby does not do this.. I am referring to my friend who has a husband who does) We should want to be at our very best IN the marriage so that we can keep that love and desire between us alive and fulfilling for both. This is when the REAL work should begin.

I have taken to read the Book of Proverbs, one chapter a day.  Today was chapter 2 and it just confirmed my reading from the Love Dare yesterday:

My son, if you accept my words
    and store up my commands within you,
² turning your ear to wisdom
    and applying your heart to understanding—
³ indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He holds success in store for the upright,
    he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
⁸ for he guards the course of the just
    and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Love is a choice, not a feeling.  I choose to love and to continue to love my hubby for all the days of my life and with that love I will work to grow into a better wife, mother, child of God and leader of family and friends.  I only have one life and only have one true love in this life and I am going to do whatever it takes to honor, protect and value that love.

~Mellie 

 
I have chosen the faithful way. (Psalm 119:30)

For me, this scripture has strength in its simplicity. I have indeed chosen the faithful way.

When we first read this statement, I think many of us think of the obvious--being physically faithful to our spouse; fidelity. While this is certainly part of it, I also believe this statement means much more than this. It means, to me, "the faithful way"--our thoughts, words, deeds, and actions. We have all been in situations where someone is being friendly, even flirtatious. This is, I believe, a natural part of life.

I have learned, however, that it being faithful to my wife, I respect and honor in her in everything I do. I can't stop people from being flirtatious. I can, however, control how I react...ensure that I react in a way that honors my wife, my family, and ultimately myself.

My wife has told me over the years, although it admittedly took several years for me to grasp and embrace the concept, that what each one of us does reflects on the other. I understand and remind myself that Michelle and I are one. I love her unconditionally. When I disrespect her, I am also disrespecting myself. What I do or don't do, is a reflection on her, just as what she does or doesn't do is a reflection on me. We are truly one, united under God.

I too choose to love my wife. I choose to value and respect her. She is my best friend and confidant. She loves me for who and what I am. For the reason, I strive to be the best  husband, father, and man I can be.

To me, this is truly choosing the faithful way.

~ Joseph

A Bucket List

 A Bucket List

Today it came to my attention my friend Kathy, who died last October, had a bucket list saved on her phone.  Apparently her mother found it after she passed.  I am always interested in learning new things about Kathy.  Some may find it morbid to seek out and learn things about your dead friend but for me it eases the pain of losing her.  I regret not knowing her more and I regret not having more time to spend with her.  I honestly thought her and I would be a part of each others lives, thus giving me more time to find out about her past, her dreams and experiencing her future with her.  She use to talk to me about what she wanted to do for a career, about how she wanted to live her life and how she wanted to have kids.  She would tell me about some of the dreams she had for traveling but there was still so much more to her that I wanted to learn, if only I would have been given the time.  I am grateful that her parents allow me into some private areas of their daughter’s life and I am grateful her mother will share things about Kathy with me, like this bucket list.  It helps with the pain, it helps me represent her better for the foundation and frankly it helps me keep her spirit alive around me.  I feel like sometimes I am her voice, and Kathy isn't done talking yet.

Her mother sent me the bucket list tonight while I was at the gym.  As soon as I got home, and when I had a quiet moment alone, I took a few minutes to read it.  Her list got me wondering, when did she make this bucket list?  Did she make it after she was diagnosed, did she make it after treatments when they thought they got all the cancer, or did she make it when she knew she was really going to die… and soon.  Then I got to thinking about my own bucket list.  

I have never made a bucket list.  Sure, I have heard people talk about their bucket list and things they wanted to do before they die but it never occurred to me that I should make one. I always thought it was kind of silly to have a bucket list, if you want to live your life then do it.  But now that I see Kathy’s bucket list I can understand what it really means.

Her list describes aspirations for herself, dreams of travel, dreams of what the kind of person she wanted to be and dreams of the life she wanted to live.  It was more than a list of silly or crazy things to do, each one of hers has a true meaning behind them and a true beauty that comes forth with each one.  It reminded me of the beauty and grace that she had when she was in the living and it reminds me of the unspeakable beauty and grace she has now in the Heavens.  Her list also gives me a starting point to my own list and a starting point on some things I can accomplish for Kathy.

I don't know what will come of Kathy's list, I do not know what will go on mine or become of mine but what I do know is life is simple.  You live and you die.  You love and you lose.  You have happiness and you have pain.  You have joy and you have sadness.  You have triumph and you have defeat.  No one is any better than anyone else and no one incapable of achieving what they set out to achieve.

I am going to make a bucket list.  I can only hope that when I am dead and gone that my family will be able to look back on it and remember me as fondly as I do when I read Kathy's and by the grace of God I will be given the years needed to accomplish mine, and some of hers.

Do you have a bucket list?

Here is a trailer from a movie a few years back.  I love both of the main actors but never thought to watch it.  I think now I will watch it. 

http://youtu.be/vc3mkG21ob4


~Mellie

The Love Dare-Day Twenty One

The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. – Isaiah 58:11

Day 20 was a vitally important day in the Love Dare – and in your life.  You came face-to-face with the glaring need of every human heart.  And perhaps for the very first time, you became aware of how personal this need really is.  You may have realized that nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources could repair the damage that sin leaves, and that Jesus is the only One who can supply what you’ve been missing.  If you’ve received Him by faith and have turned your life over to Him to manage and lead, then His Holy Spirit is renewing your heart.  His wisdom, grace, and power can now be released into everything you do.  Including, not the least, your marriage.

But whether this is new territory for you or if you’ve been a follower of Jesus for quite a while, now is the time for you to firm up one thing in your mind: you need God every single day.  This is not a part-time proposition.  He alone can satisfy, even when all else fails you.

Your husband may be late coming home.  Again.  But God will always be right on time.

Your wife may let you down.  Again.  But God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.

Every day you place expectations on your spouse.  Sometimes they meet them.  Sometimes they don’t.  But never will they be able to totally satisfy all the demands you ask of them – partly because some of your demands are unreasonable, partly because your mate is human.

God, however, is not.  And those who approach Him in utter dependence each day for the real needs in their life are the ones who find out just how dependable He is.

Can your spouse give you an inner peace?  No.  But God can.  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Can your spouse enable you to be content no matter what life throws at you?  No.  But God can.  “In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled … I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:12-13).

There are needs in your life only God can fully satisfy.  Though your husband or wife is able to complete some of these requirements – at least now and then – only God is able to do it all.  Your need for love.  Your need for acceptance.  Your need for joy.  It’s time to stop expecting somebody or something to keep your functioning and fulfilled on a non-stop basis.  Only God can do that as you learn to depend on Him.  But He wants to do it His way.  “My God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

The needs of love, peace, and adequacy are real.  No one is saying you shouldn’t have them.  But rather than plugging into things that are unstable at best and are subject to change – your health, your money, even the affections and best intentions of your mate – plug into God instead.  He’s the only One in your life that can never change.  His faithfulness, His truth, and His promises to His children will always remain. That’s why you need to seek Him every day.

Our only reason for not doing this is because we really don’t trust God to supply what we need.  And yet the Bible says, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).  When we are seeking Him first, loving Him first, making our relationship with Him top priority, He promises to supply us with what we really need – which, actually, is all it really takes to satisfy us.

Jesus once spoke to a woman at a Samaritan well, a woman who had tried getting her needs met through a string of failed relationships.  With both her life and water bucket empty, she had come to this place broken and hardened yet still desperately in need.  But in Christ she found what He called “living water” (John 4:10) – a supply that wasn’t just for quenching temporary thirst.  What He offered her was a drink of soul satisfaction that never quits giving and refreshing.  And that is what’s available to you each morning at sunrise and each night before bed, no matter who your spouse is what they’ve done to you.

God is your everyday supply.  Of everything you need.

I find when I start my day or spend a part of my day focused on The Word and in prayer with God I have a much calmer day and find myself being able to fight the demons in my own head.

The chapter allows me to look beyond the desires of the flesh to see that my expectations in life and in my marriage need to come by seeking the Lord rather than seeking my hubby to fulfill them.  When we walk with God He gives us what we desire and what He has planned for us.

I have wonderful support from my hubby, even in our darkest hours he has always been there for me and makes sure that my needs are taken care of to the best of his ability. He helps me reduce my stress by encouraging me to change things in my life.  He takes care of the ins and outs of daily life when it comes to our household and bills.  He does all these things to try and make life just a little bit easier for me.  But when it comes to peace in my heart, even though my hubby has a lot to do with that, I must seek this from God.

Putting demands on my hubby for my insecurities isn't fair.  Some of them have came from my hubby's past actions but there are others that have been there for years and I must seek God to help me release myself from them.  I must seek God to release me from not being able to trust.  I must seek God to help me fully forgive and move on from the past.  All of these things need to come from God and as I have talked about several times in the past, it is all about learning to "Give it to God."

I read Proverbs 1 as part of my chapter "homework."  The book of Proverbs is amazing with all it's life lessons and spiritual healing within the chapter.  I am going to make it part of my day to read one chapter a day.  I am hoping by reading these scriptures I will take my lessons in my faith to another level and really begin to work on being a better person in all areas of my life.  Thus making my marriage better as well.

I have a large family.  Sometimes I can go through my day on auto pilot and think everything is okay.  But if I continue on this path and not take the time to teach my kids the Word then someone, somewhere out there is going to teach them something else.  Part of being a better person and wife is being a better leader in my faith for our family.  Ultimately this is the role of my hubby but it should not fall on his shoulders only. 

We only have this one life to live, and we are only guaranteed this one second we are living in at this very moment.  I want to make sure that I use my time to the fullest and live it in God's world vs trying to get God to live in mine.

~Mellie

*****
You may have realized that nothing in your toolbox of talents and resources could repair the damage that sin leaves, and that Jesus is the only One who can supply what you’ve been missing.  If you’ve received Him by faith and have turned your life over to Him to manage and lead, then His Holy Spirit is renewing your heart.  His wisdom, grace, and power can now be released into everything you do.  Including, not the least, your marriage.

I can fix anything. Which, is good, considering I tend to break a lot of things. However, over the several months I have realized that sometimes things cannot simply be repaired with words or the commitment to "never do it again."Somethings, truly take time, dedication, real commitment, and most of all....actions.

It is my job, my God giving responsibility to lead my family to a better life, with faith as its foundation. Some days, weeks, months--I do this better than others. We all live in this busy world, on the grind from one day to the next. It is easy...perhaps even inevitable to lose our way and focus, at times.

I have learned, mostly through observation and a bit of experimentation, that I really do influence how things go both at home and in my careers/ businesses. I once read, and wholeheartedly believe, that power is not inherent or given authority, but rather power is measured by one's ability to influence. In that sense, I am very powerful.

At times, I fail to concentrate that power on "doing good" and instead use that ability to influence to manipulate or otherwise guide things to go the way I want them to do. Really, to a large extent, we all do this either consciously or sub-consciously.

However, again, I know I am very powerful. And with that power, that God-giving ability to influence, persuade, and otherwise manipulate others, comes a tremendous responsibility to use that power for good. Not for my own selfish wants or desires.

I am recommitting myself to my family. I am recommitting myself to my work. I am, in fact, recommitting myself to use my power for good--lead my family, friends, business partners and associates, to a better life. I know I can do it--I always have been able to do it. I just have not always wanted to do it.

I have an amazing, supportive, tolerant wife. She deserves me at my best. My family deserves and needs me at my best, as do my business associates. It is going to be a grind. Some days go better than others, and at times I will fall off the path to success. But, I know which direction I am headed in and as long as I keep moving in that direction, I will lead all those around me to a better life....a faithful life.

Joseph

The Love Dare-Day Twenty

While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. –Romans 5:6

The previous day and dare lead to no other conclusion that this.  Thankfully, it’s a conclusion you can live with—today, tomorrow, and forever.

Jesus has come “to seek and to save” you (Luke 19:10).  Everything you’ve failed at and haven’t been able to do, every minute you’ve wasted trying to fix things your own way—all of it can be forgiven and made right by putting your life into the hands of the One who first gave it to you.

Maybe you’ve never done this.  Then today is your day.  “Now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2).

Maybe you did it years ago, but you’ve wandered far from your spiritual roots.  Then “repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).  Even if you’ve already made Christ your way of life and have never stopped walking in fellowship with Him, the following Scriptures will be a grateful reminder of all He’s done for you.

The Bible says we are sinful from birth, from the moment we arrive.  “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5).  “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment” (Isaiah 64:6).  It’s not as though God sends innocent people to hell.

We deserve it.  We simply can’t be good enough to live with a pure and holy God. 

Love like this cannot be fully understood.  “One will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.  But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:7-8).

Nor can love like this be earned.  “The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23).  “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

But it must be received.  “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation” (Romans 10:9-10).

And when you have received this new life and love as your own, you are free to love in ways you’ve never been capable before.

“This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers…This is His command; to believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us” (I John 3:16, 23 NIV).  “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love” (I John 4:8).

He was willing to love you even though you didn’t deserve it, even when you didn’t love back.  He was able to see all your flaws and imperfections and still choose to love you.  His love made the greatest sacrifice to meet your greatest need.  As a result, you are able (by His grace) to walk in the fullness and blessing of His love.  Now and forever.

This means you now share this same love with your spouse.  You can love even when you’re not love in return.  You can see all their flaws and imperfections and still choose to love.  And though you can’t meet their needs the way God can, you can become His instrument to meet the needs of your spouse.  As result, he or she can walk in the fullness and blessing of your love.  Now and till death.

True love is found in Christ alone.  And after you have received His gift of new life by accepting His death in your place and His forgiveness for your sins, you are finally ready to live the dare.