Today is Sunday, I only have 14 more days of THIS month to see some real changes in my body with my new goal of gaining more muscle.Today I was dealing with sick kids and I wanted to take the day off but I got my behind into the gym with my husband and got it done.
Today Joe really pushed me and I am proud to say I am proud of MYSELF. Not only did I go outside of my comfort level by increasing my total weight that I use per sets, but I got off the assisted chin up machine and used a bar.
Oh my gosh, that was sooooo hard. However, with a little spotting from Joe I was able to do 25 chin ups in 4 sets and it felt good! Not good as in I liked the pain and sweat dripping from every part of my body, including my hands, but good as in I accomplished chin ups on a bar and overcame ANOTHER fear of mine.
That was triumph number 1. Triumph number 2 was that while I was standing in the gym waiting for my next set of chin ups it occurred to me that I was afraid of change and I was focusing my attention on something I did not need to focus on anymore..... my Bodybugg.
Oh sure, 13 days ago I announced I would not post my results anymore on facebook and how I wasn't going to worry about how many steps I took, what my deficit was or anything like that. But low and behold three days later I was back to posting again. I was back to displaying my burn, my deficits and still trying to keep up on high number of steps taken. I had failed myself at letting go of that part of my weight loss journey in hopes to focus on being lean with more muscles. But today, as I saw myself in the full wall of mirrors with my bugg on my arm I told myself enough was enough! I did not need to depend on this instrument anymore, I did not need to worry about posting my calories in vs calories out to the world and I sure in the heck did not need to measure my happiness on how many freaking steps I had taken the prior day. It was time to take the bugg off and I knew the only way to totally be free of it, was to GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!
I called up my friend Carmen, who I am nudging down a new road to a healthier life, and told her she was going to wear it for the next two weeks so we could see exactly what she was burning. (See, doesn't that sound like nudging???) Don't get me wrong, I love my bugg and I have learned so much from it and really give it about 30% credit for my weight loss and lifestyle change. However, being addicted to the burn, steps taken, and deficit for the rest of my life is NOT what I want for myself. It had to go, so I could embark on this next journey with a clear mind, a positive attitude and not feel like I have to hit certain targets to be successful. Those days are gone for me, the thoughts are still there, but living like that has to be over. There is more to life then counting calories, getting over the top deficits and taking 30 thousand steps a day. There is a place for all of that, and I am grateful, but once you hit your goal.. and then your next.. and then your next... when do you say enough is enough?
Today is when I say that.
So, Carmen came over two hours later. I set her up with my bugg so she can start to learn and have the benefit of this wonderful device. I can than celebrate HER journey and her accomplishments and know that I have done a great job and an even better one... going bugg free.