"Love believes all things, hopes all things." -1 Corinthians 13:7
In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room. It's where thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. You probably spent a great deal of time in this room prior to your marriage but have found as the years have gone by you do not visits this room quite like you did before. Down another dark corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well. This room is where you go when encounter hurtful words, bad habits and poor decisions from your spouse. If you spend too much time in this room you get depressed and even may start to think you married the wrong person. Spending time in this room kills marriages.
Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists. But love chooses not to live there. Love chooses to believe the best of people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus.
Today's dare was not really challenging but a great lesson and reminder that as a wife I need to get out of the Depreciation Room more often. I am the type of person I have the ability to love and move on when something comes against me. However lately I have been struggling with this ability.
Sometimes I feel as a wife I am not heard. Not that my hubby doesn't listen to me but when we have an issue that is hard on me he wants to quickly move on and forget about it. Yet I have the need to share what impact the issue had on me as a person and our marriage. When I am not given this opportunity it can create a world of resentment and build up inside me that eats at me.
"Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that it exists."
This is something I need to focus more on and keep telling myself. Yes, I think it is important that we listen and hear each other during times of frustration but I also need to step back and remind myself feelings do not control me.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is not selfish.
Love is thoughtful.
Love is not rude.
Love is not irritable.
Love believes the best.
All the lessons of the past chapters remind me that Love leads to inner joy and when I prioritize my needs with the well being of my hubby than there is no room to sit it the Depreciation Room complaining about what I did not get.
Today, I am going to sit in the Appreciation Room and remind myself of all the good things my hubby does for me emotionally. If my mind starts to wonder on negative thoughts I am going to force myself to go back to the Appreciation Room and focus on the good in life. I have a great hubby. We know each other like the back of our hands. He knows me like no other has ever known me and I love him for that. He is a good man who struggles with his own demons but wants to do what is right for our marriage. Today I will focus on the good and not waste time on the bad. This will allow me to truly lead my heart to be more open and love my spouse even more and it's a decision only I can make.
This was a difficult exercise for me to complete, namely because it is difficult for me to think about things that are truly "negative" about my wife. She is a Godly woman, and while she is no Saint, I don't consider what some may call negative attributes, to be negative. Rather, it is who she is (and I love her for it).
My wife is selfless. She gives so much of herself to others. Sometimes, perhaps, too much. I think my biggest fear is that time is passing quickly. Some day, the kids won't be kids anymore. I want to make sure we as parents invest as much time and energy in them as possible, even if that means others get less time and energy.
That being said, the kids are loved and well-taken care of in every way. People often admire and comment at how loving and well-behaved they are. They are quick to smile and clearly enjoy life. This is not by accident. It is because they come from a family that is loving, open, but also very disciplined. We don't debate with our children. We tell them what we expect, why, and they know it had better get done. We are their parents above all else.
Michelle is a huge part of this. She sets the tone in the house. She runs the day-to-day affairs of the home, and ensures all is in place. I can get frustrated when I feel something that should have been done was not done. But all-in-all, she is on top of it and I love her for it.
I love my wife very much, and think of each day as another opportunity to develop as an individual and as man and wife.