Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Whispers... Day 2

I am in a personal growth challenge with some friends of mine.  Here is the back story to that challenge and how it came to be.  The blog that follows my "Ah-ha" moment of the day.  I hope anyone reading this can not only follow along with my thoughts but also find in themselves if they are struggling in this area too.  Thanks for the read!
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A few days ago my girlfriend shared how she was going to make an effort for the next 21 days to limit her negative self talk.  It became clear to me that not only did I need to support her in this decision I needed to participate and share with others too.  So I sent out a group text to several of my friends and family inviting them to join us as well.

The text read:

We are gong to take the next 21 days and limit our negative self talk, the ones in our head and the ones that come out of our mouths.  I am also going to be writing something each day in my journal/blog.  No matter how short or how long I want it to be.  I would encourage you to do the same with me!


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"The first step in any type of self inquiry is recognition. We have to recognize that there are parts of us that need improvement. Despite the desire of many of of us to improve our lives, there is often resistance to the whole process. It's not easy to recognize our faults or weaknesses. Many people go through the greater part of their lives unaware that they may be doing things that are hurting themselves and others. Recognition of personal strengths or weakness is a giant step in the right direction. There is tremendous liberation in the simple realization of why things are the way they are. And some fortunate instances, recognition alone is enough to break through whatever blocks we may have. More often, though, recognition is the critical first step towards transformation. Also, our recognition doesn't have to be Limited to faults. It can be in earnest desire for overall improvement. It can be the recognition of a virtue or strength that we were not fully aware of." -Change your aura Change your life. 

What will be your recognition today? With improvements negative thinking does NOT have to follow. Recognizing our areas of improvement do not have to be deemed negative. We are able, if willing, to find our faults and rather than boast in the negativity of it all we can chose to shine in the understanding and awareness!






I found myself getting caught up in my whispers today. Not whispers of my own but whispers of others rattling in my mind. Threatening the core of my well being at every turn. It dragged me to a place of sadness, doubt and self pity. It made me asks myself questions of why others do things that in the end hurt me? Why do I allow certain toxic people in my life only to get burned by them or called out by them because they think I should live my life a certain way? Why do I allow the spew of someone who is jealous of me affect me in what they think of me? Why do I doubt my own value?

Then it occurred to me....

Real friendships and relationships allow a person be what he or she really is. Most people will love you for who you pretend to be. We sometimes think to keep or find their love, we have to keep pretending. 

We get locked in that image, and it's hard for people to see us any other way. We even get so used to that image we are portraying we grow attached to our own masks. 

We can be lost without out our chains and can forget all about who we really are.

But as I have learned to break free from my mask and chains I have not mastered breaking free from the chains others hold me to. They want me to stay the same so they can feel needed. So they can feel more power or so they can feel like they are better than me to make themselves feel better.

The only power they have is the power I allow them to. 

So I hushed my whispers by reminding myself that I am good enough
I am valuable 
I am enough 
I am worthy of good things and good people 
And those who try and hold me back or try and take what is mine have to be let go in all ways.

My life is about giving, helping and caring for others. But I have to love and care for myself above all.

- Ramblings of a hungry girl! 😃

Defining moments....Day 3

I am in a personal growth challenge with some friends of mine.  Here is the back story to that challenge and how it came to be.  The blog that follows my "Ah-ha" moment of the day.  I hope anyone reading this can not only follow along with my thoughts but also find in themselves if they are struggling in this area too.  Thanks for the read!
**********************************************************

A few days ago my girlfriend shared how she was going to make an effort for the next 21 days to limit her negative self talk.  It became clear to me that not only did I need to support her in this decision I needed to participate and share with others too.  So I sent out a group text to several of my friends and family inviting them to join us as well.

The text read:

We are gong to take the next 21 days and limit our negative self talk, the ones in our head and the ones that come out of our mouths.  I am also going to be writing something each day in my journal/blog.  No matter how short or how long I want it to be.  I would encourage you to do the same with me!


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I want to share something I've never shared with anybody my entire life not even my closest friend knows this about me. It's something I carried around inside with me for many years and never really thought affected me until I decided to change my lifestyle.

Many years ago when I was going through my divorce my ex-husband, in the heat of the fit, told me that I wasn't attractive anymore. He told me the weight that I carried around from the birth of the two babies I had at that point in my life would forever be with me. I would forever be a frumpy girl and no one could possibly love me, I was a fool to be leaving him. Of course I knew that in my heart it would not be true but somehow I took those words to heart, internalized them and I allowed them to subconsciously define me for many years to come.

Every time I attempted to lose weight or get healthy I would recall those words that were etched into my memory and my subconscious. I would begin to believe them all over again. I believed that I would never be healthy, I would never be thin, I would never look like I had always dreamed to look like. That was until I decided I would no longer allow anyone else to define me.

The process did not happen overnight. It took days, weeks, months, and yes, even years to not only let go of those words whispering in my brain, that I had carried around with me far too long, but to allow myself to be successful in this area. Sometimes it was almost easier to fall back on those words than it was to go through the entire process of training due to the dedication it took not only to become healthy, but to actually call myself a winner and to be the fit person I dreamed of being.

Fast forward A few years and that time and struggle seems like a lifetime ago to me. Of course the the early morning cardio sessions, the late-night workouts, the two a days, are all still fresh in my mind and seem like it was just yesterday I was fighting the battle of fat but the words that I allowed to defined me are a faint memory in my mind and no longer control me.

As I sit here today thinking to myself about my own journey and the 21 day challenge of limiting our negative self talk. THIS memory flooded my mind just moments ago to remind me that even though I'm stronger and a better person than I was then. I still allow people to define me I just wasn't accepting it or facing it.

Over the years I have heard certain things about myself from others that I see for the first time today I have allowed to define me. I'm sure if we all took a look at ourselves we would see that we all do in some ways. So much of what you accept is what others will define you as. If you are told look like someone famous, maybe an actress, you might not change your hair because she supposed to be seen as a beautiful person. That's allowing yourself to be defined. If you're told you're cute and have an attractive body, your clothes might get smaller and you might show more. That's allowing yourself to be defined. 

Same with the negative defining. If you're told you play a victim role in your past relationship you probably stomp your feet and disagree but if you really look at yourself are you acting like the victim? Maybe if you're walking around with a sad look on your face or telling anyone who will listen to your side of the story as if to defend yourself then yes, you're playing the victim. You have just let that person define you. 

Since starting this challenge it has made me so aware of the thoughts that roll around in my head. I subconsciously allow people to define me and I believe them and process that negativity in my head and then berate myself. It's not something that I was aware of until today and I certainly don't sit here and beat myself up but when faced with certain situations I react in a private self mutilation of my self esteem. 

Of course there is no quick fix to the solution but what I appreciate about this challenge is that it's brought this to the forefront of my mind. I know that certain things that I do during my normal day, maybe not every day, is affected by what others have said about me in the past and I allowed it to define me in the present. This also leads to living my life in a certain amount of fear... Which is a whole other issue! 😃

I love this quote from Oprah:

"You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script."

What an amazing message! 

-Mellie










Tuesday, April 7, 2015

I am.....Day 1


If you have been following my blog you know these cards are called the I Am...... Cards.  The idea is to pull a card each day to read a positive affirmation to fill your mind with.  By focusing on positive thoughts, you can change how you feel and the way you think.  It's a simple way to experience life in a new and exciting way, and to explore your mind with the thought behind the "I am".... card of the day.

I am....self-accepting


It's amazing to me how things happen and line up exactly the way they are suppose to for us.  Yesterday was a normal day for me, I was focused on working and getting the kids ready for this next week of school and just taking care of things in my household.  The evening started to become difficult.  My mind began racing and my insecurities began to take over my thoughts.  Then one of my dear friends was struggling with a man in her life who basically just tossed her to the side.  Another friend of mine was sharing her recent struggles in her marriage.  It seemed like the night was going to bring me to a place of drama and stress.

However, when talking to the friend who was sharing her marriage issues, she shared how she was going to make an effort for the next 21 days to limit her negative self talk.  It became clear to me that not only did I need to support her in this decision I needed to participate and share with others too.  So I sent out a group text to several of my friends and family inviting them to join us as well.

The text read:

We are gong to take the next 21 days and limit our negative self talk, the ones in our head and the ones that come out of our mouths.  I am also going to be writing something each day in my journal/blog.  No matter how short or how long I want it to be.  I would encourage you to do the same with me!

This this morning, as I said I would, I decided to reach into my I am..... bag and pull out a card to use to blog with.  The one that appears in this blog is the one that I choose.  Amazing how things are lined up for us, are signs from God and can have an impact on our daily lives.

YES!  I am self-accepting.  I accept myself today exactly as I am.  I accept the challenges that can come to me daily and know that if I take them head on, doing the very best I can than that's good enough for me.  I accept that having goals and wanting to change things about my body, my mind, my soul or my lifestyle does not make me weak.  It only shows my strength in my ability to always want to be a better form of myself.  I accept that where I fall short in my life are areas for improvement not for self loathing.  I accept that not all people are going to like me, like my message or like the way I do things and that is okay!  The only one I HAVE to answer to is God and he knows the secrets, struggles and strengths I have in my core and loves me the way I am.

I am self-accepting and today you should be too!

~Make it a great day!