Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

I felt like a human pin cushion this week.

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~ Isaiah 40:31

Just a quick update on my week.  As discussed in a prior blog I had to go in for three days of IV Steroids this week to help a flare up I had.  

It seems the more flare ups I have the harder it is for the nurses to find my veins.  I found myself thinking I was a human pin cushion this week with all the pokes and digging around in my arm that was going on. 

This is just one of my arms, I am a visual girl and like to have pictures to add to my memories.

I was lucky that my hubby was there by my side.  I recalled thinking during one of the treatments,  for a girl who has always hated needles how ironic that I am here now having to get injections daily for treatment and then IV's as needed for flare ups.  It's almost comical to me because it always makes me think of that saying.... "If God brings you to it, he will see you through it."  I am holding on to that saying each time I have to do something to help get me better or prevent me from getting worse from my MS.

This was my first day, Thursday

Second day, Friday

Third and final day, Saturday-I think I get better looking as the treatments go on.  :)
I have been taking Copaxone now for over 30 days.  My hubby, who gives me my injections, announced to me on Friday it was time to change my injection location.  This coming the morning after my IV of steroids.  For those of you who take steroids due to your MS I am sure you are aware that it can make you........ moody.  For me it makes me cry, rage in anger or it makes me even more anxious than I normally am.  This morning as soon as he announced a new "injection location" I started crying like a baby. 

In that very moment I laid on my bed and began sobbing.  I was afraid of the new location and if it would hurt.  I was upset that my hubby was forcing me out of my comfort level that I finally found myself in with getting these injections and I was pissed that I had MS.  I was pissed that I have to think about having MS everyday.  I was pissed that I had to take this stupid injection every day and I was even more pissed because I was laying there crying over it.

But at the very moment when I felt as if my head was going to explode and I was going to scream at the top of my lungs I felt a hand on my leg.  (I had my pillow over my face trying to block my outbreak of emotions) 

My hubby laid his hand on my thigh and kissed my leg and told me, it was going to be alright.  As he caressed my leg he reminded me that my body was surging from the steroids and that it was alright to cry and have all these emotions.  He softly told me it would only be a few more days and I would be back to feeling normal again.  He reminded me that I he had to change injection locations so I didn't get infections in my skin from going in the same place over and over again.  But honestly, it wasn't the words he was saying to me it was the way he was speaking to me.  The compassion and understanding is what stopped the tears and gave me the power to once again, pick myself up and get back on the train of getting well.

Those dealing with MS or any other disease will have our ups and downs.  We will have our days where we are on top of the world and we will have days where we will want to crawl under a rock and never peek our heads out.  But what we all have to remind ourselves is these diseases do not define us.  Our disease do not make us who we are and we have to fight with all that we have and all that we are to prevent ourselves from allowing them to.

I had a bad week, I had a few bad days and  I will have more. But it's okay because it is not how I will choose to live the rest of my life.  I will not allow this to get the best of me and as long as I have my God, my hubby, my family and my friends.... I know... I will beat this. 


1 comment:

  1. Hi Michelle!
    Isaiah 40:31 is my favorite scripture! I am familiar with being a pin-cushion and the surge of varying emotions. Over the years I went through close to a dozen of those week long sessions of Solu-Med drips. A few years ago, the last one was the worst - I literally did not sleep for five days and I finally rested by default-the Pred treatment was complete and my poor body was exhausted from lack of sleep-not that I didn't try. Those steroid IV's are the pits, but Praise God for Burgerville! My husband daily retrieved one of those awesome BV shakes for me to sip during the 90 minute treatments since the metallic IV taste is so awful. We're moving back at some point because the past few years without the seasonal BV mainstays has been such a challenge! ;o)