Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Love Dare-Day Three

 Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.  It's hard to care for something you are not investing in.  Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says,
 "I was thinking of you today."

When a husband puts his interest, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that's a sign of selfishness.  When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness.  But love "does not seek it's own" (1 Corinthians 13:5)  Loving couples-the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage- are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share their life with.  That's because true love looks for ways to say "yes."  When you prioritize the well being of your spouse, there is a resulting fulfillment that can not be duplicated by a selfish actions.  This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love.  The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your spouse, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.  Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse.  But is it a loving reputation?  Remember, your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person.  So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open.  And when all is said and done, you'll both be more fulfilled. 

I completed my challenge by restraining from negative comments and I bought my hubby something to let him know I was thinking about him.  It was not a large gift, nor was it something anyone would think to be a gift but I knew he needed these items and so I made sure that I took my time to go out and get them for him myself.  It was a way to be able to provide him something he needed without him having to go and get it.   I hope he saw it as a way for me to show my love for him.

Yesterday's challenge forced me to ask myself:

Do you really want what's best for your hubby?
Do you really want your hubby to feel loved?
Do you really have your hubby's best interest in mind?
Does your hubby see you looking out for yourself first?

The answer to all these questions is yes, hell yes!  From the moment I wake up in the morning till the moment I fall asleep I am always trying to be conscious of my hubby and his needs.  I go above an beyond what most wives do in taking care of him, not because he makes me or has asked me to but because it makes ME happy to do it for him.  I try and make his life as easy as possible.  In fact I get frustrated sometimes because he will say he has so much to take care of, yet he will not relinquish any more duties to me.  But I hope as the years go by, although it has been 10 years already, he will give up some of the family responsibilities and let me help or partner with him on them.  But until that day I will continue to do what I have control over to make each of his days better for him. 

As this chapter spells out, whether I like it or not I have a reputation in the eyes of my hubby and those around me.  I want to make sure it is a loving reputation and remind myself daily that my marriage is my purpose.  Making my bond with my hubby to keep our marriage strong in the faces of the storms is one of my purposes.  Not only for my kids but for ME.  I do not work at my marriage only because I do not want my kids to come from a broken home.... I work for my marriage because he is the love of my life.  He is the one I want to be with and he is the only one who has had a hold on me this tight and for this long.  He is the only one I have heard the voice of God saying to me..... "you're not done Mellie.... stay strong... stay there.. and keep fighting."

Life is hard.  Marriage is even harder.  But we are meant to love one another and live a happy life that is based on love, respect and Christ like and I feel in this day and age with so many people trying to get instant gratification we forget the real reason we are here on Earth.... to be happy and live our lives as best as we can and to the fullest that we can with God in our hearts and a love by our side.

Today was a good challenge.... not only was I able to show my hubby love... I was able to remind myself of the love that we have together and tell myself... "Keep working, it will all be worth it in the end."



I feel guilty today. I feel guilty because I did not complete this blog yesterday. Why, because I was busy. Because it was an emotionally draining day. Because it was raining. Because it was sunny. Because there was a threat of rain.

The point is, and ironic considering this day was a reminder to invest in the one we love, every day presents its own unique set of challenges, and I have to rise above them and get done what I need to get done. Yesterday, what I need to do was invest time in my wife and complete this blog. I failed.

But, I also learned. My failure serves as a great reminder that tomorrow will always be there, until it isn't. And for each one of us, some day we will have no tomorrow. Therefore, I am choosing to spend my "todays" focused as much as possible on the ones that I love.

I love my wife. I try to appreciate all she does for me. I provide for my family and have many various and competing demands on my time. But, my wife and family come first.

For the record, I did buy my wife a gift. Nothing dramatic. Nothing "wow". But, something that showed her I was able and willing to take time out of my day and invest some of my resources into her...time and money. Something I knew she would appreciate.

I feel I am well on my way to being a better man.



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