Recovering Desire - Day Two

"What do you want?"  - John 1:38

Somewhere along the way, we all lose heart in marriage.  We all do.  It happens to the best of us.  the Dan Fogelberg song "Along the Road" speaks of a relationship that has "joy at the start," and suggest that along the journey, the heart "gets lost in the learning."

We might find a way to manage our disappointment.  We might do our best to fight off resignation, but it works its way in.  We let go of what we wanted, what we dreamed of, what we were created for.  We begin to settle.  Oftentimes we even forget what it was we wanted in the first place!

Because marriage is hard, sometimes painfully heard, your first great battle is to not lose heart. That begins rediscovering desire- the desire for the love that is written in your hear.  Let desire return.  Let it remind you of all that you wanted, all that you were created for.  And then consider this-- what if God could bring you your heart's desire?  What if the two of you could find you way to something beautiful?

That would be worth fighting for.

Don't start with, How can this happen? The how will come in time.  You have to begin with desire.  Start with what is written in your hear.  What was it that you once dreamed of as a young man or woman?  What was it that you wanted when you fell in love?

--------------------

Father, thank you for my marriage.  Thank you for my spouse.  Lord, you know where we are with each other right now.  You know the desires we each had coming into our marriage even if they were unclear to us.  And only you knew the dreams you have for our marriage.  Once again, I give my marriage to you.  I surrender myself, my spouse, and our life to you, and I ask for your will to be done in us and through us.  Holy Spirit, blow gently onto the embers of our heart's desires where we may have forgotten or abandoned wheat you placed there.  Rekindle the flame.  Remind us.  And help us keep our eyes on your as the source of all that is good and lovely and worth living for.  Let hope rise.  In Jesus' name, amen. 

--------------------

What was it that you once dreamed of as a young man or woman?  What was it that you wanted when you fell in love?

Over ten years ago I met my husband.  He was handsome, charming and very funny.  I can recall in just about every encounter with him I was left feeling happy, warm and fulfilled.  I found myself looking forward to seeing him again, choosing what I was going to wear specifically if I was going to see him and almost counting the moments until I heard his voice speak, regardless if it was directly to me or not.  I was smitten with him.

The day he took me as his wife was one of the happiest days of my life and I dreamed of growing old with him and living the life I knew I was always meant to live.  One filled with honor, trust, love, desire, respect and a friendship like no other.

Over ten years later, I still feel this way about him.  I still find myself counting the hours until I get to see him again, I still choose my clothing to what I think he would like to see me in, I am still smitten with him.  After all these years, trials and tribulations none of this has changed for me and I still dream of a relationship  filled with honor, trust, love, desire, respect and a friendship like no other.

But I wonder if I do a good enough job to show him these things?  I wonder if he knows that while I am working I am wondering what he is doing.  Is he at his desk, is he out closet eating at some fast food place, is he smiling, laughing is he thinking of me?  My hubby is always in the forefront of my mind and I am always trying to make his day just a little brighter in some small way.  But I still wonder if I do a good enough job to show him these feelings.

This is a great chapter for me today so I can be reminded that with everything that goes on between him and I, I want him to know I am still smitten with him and my desire has never left for him.

-Mellie