The results are in.......

In December of 2009 I made one of the biggest decisions ever in my life at the time.  I decided I was going to stop making excuses and I was going to get myself into shape.  My youngest daughter, Elianna, was just under two years old when I told myself it was time to make some serious changes in my life in regards to the way I lived.  I was disgusted with the person I had became and the vision I would see in the mirror and knew if I did not do something about it now it would forever affect my life and the life of my family.  This was me then.

As many of you who know me personally and have followed my journey and participated in my journey, you know I given it all I had.  I worked out, I learned how to eat properly, I educated myself in fitness and nutrition and I transformed myself into the woman I am today~physically and mentally.  I was in the fight of my life, fighting to change myself and fighting to save my life as I knew it.  What I did not realize is that was the understatement of the century.

As I have blogged about before, my neurologist who diagnosed me with MS in October 2013,  says I have had MS not only undiagnosed but untreated since AT LEAST when my son Reuben was born 7 years ago. Due to the complications at Reuben's birth, with my own health, I had an MRI done at the time that my neurologist was able to compare with the MRI in October of last year being able to say with 100% confidence I have MS.  Most people do not have past MRI's to use as baselines so I was lucky in this area.

My doctor, who is the head of the neurology department and is a recognized specialist in MS, explained to me that the first 10 years of MS predicts how aggressive the disease will be in each person. If the MS can be kept in check for 10 years, it tends to wane and even hibernate. He kept telling me how good my prognosis was based on the fact that after having the disease already for at least 10 years and nothing to treat to it other than my spirit, diet, and exercise, that NOW with that plus medicine--I would be 99% good. He even wrote that in his notes and showed me as an expression of confidence.

Still, it was very scary and these past 8 months, waiting for my next MRI,  felt like a lifetime.

As I learned more and more about my disease and as my hubby did research on MS it became apparent to us both how important diet and exercise is to a person with MS. No matter what type of MS a person has or what stage they are at it comes down to being able to assist in managing your symptoms and your flare ups with nutrition and movement.

I believe things happen for a reason.  I believe God has a plan for all of us.  I believe that actions create consequences and everything we do is to be answered for in one way or another.  In all areas of my life and in all factors of my being I believe this to be true.

I do not think when I decided to finally put down the processed foods and junk and start living the life I was meant to live was it was by accident.  I do not believe that when I told myself I would learn how to properly fuel my body with healthy and organic food it was by accident.  I do not believe that when I put myself first above everything else, besides my family, it was by accident.  I was in the fight of my life and this was my Soul saving my body from not only being unhealthy but having a disease that could at it's worse put me in a wheelchair the rest of my life.  Getting healthy not only changed my bodies appearance I truly believe it saved my undiagnosed MS from being worse than it is.

I take a daily injection for my MS called Copaxone.  The medial description of this drug as described on the National Multiple Sclerosis website:  http://www.nationalmssociety.org/Treating-MS/Medications/Copaxone

"Glatiramer acetate is a synthetic protein that simulates myelin basic protein, a component of the myelin that insulates nerve fibers in the brain and spinal cord. This drug seems to block myelin-damaging T-cells through a mechanism that is not completely understood. In controlled clinical trials with relapsing-remitting MS, those taking the glatiramer acetate had a significant reduction in annual relapse rate and a reduction in new lesions as shown on magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), when compared to control subjects who were given a placebo.  Glatiramer acetate is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to reduce the frequency of relapses in patients with relapsing-remitting MS. It is also approved for use in individuals who have experienced a first clinical episode (clinically-isolated syndrome) and have MRI features that are consistent with multiple sclerosis."

Copaxone takes six months to fully take affect in the body allowing the MS to attack they synthetic protein vs. the real myelin of the brain.  During the first six months I received monthly IV treatments of steroids to help reduce the possible damage the MS could be having on my brain while the Copaxone builds up in my system allowing it to help fight the MS.

This last Tuesday I went in to have an MRI done to see if there were any new lesions on my brain from the MS, active or not.  This MRI would also be used as my NEW baseline to re-check to see if the Copaxone is doing it's job fighting the MS in my body or if other avenues will need to be attempted.

I received this email from my Neurologist:

From:Greg R. Zarelli, MD

Hello!

I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you but I have been swamped. In any case, I have GOOD news about the MRI done 7/15/14. It was compared to the prior scan done 9/27/13 and was unchanged. No new or enhancing lesions were seen. See the report below:

"IMPRESSION:
Multiple T2 hyper-intense lesions in the supranational white matter. Previously seen acute lesion in the left posterior frontal lobe has decreased in size. The other lesions are unchanged. No associated enhancement or diffusion restriction. No new lesions seen."

So this is your new baseline MRI. Enjoy the weekend! This is GREAT news!

"No new or enhancing lesions." "Has decreased in size."

I am beyond happy and was moved to tears with these results.  So even though the medication meant to assist in the fight against MS and help prevent new damage has NOT fully taken affect in my body ONE of my current lesions decreased in size and I have NO NEW LESIONS.  Does this mean I was lucky?  Does this mean my MS is not as bad as others?  Does this mean it's by chance I do not have more damage in my brain?  No. I believe, 180%,  this is because I refuse to be sick.  I did not allow my diagnosis to prevent me from taking care of myself.  I attribute this to diet and exercise.  I attribute this to my will to survive.  I attribute this to God's plan for ME not to be a victim and lie down and allow this disease to consume me physically or mentally.  I attribute this to ME.  This is the best news I have heard in a long time and I am on cloud nine.

This not only motivates me to continue on my path to stay healthy but pushes me to be vocal once again about my journey in hopes to not only share with those who follow me but motivate others to get their lives in a more balanced and healthy state.   

Our society is filled with fast food, processed foods, over weight adults and now obese children.  We are sicker than our parents and grandparents before us and we are either suffering from diseases or dying at young ages.  I believe I was spared a horrific future because I changed my life.  It's my hope that as I become vocal again about my lifestyle that others will change theirs with me and be spared too.  

When I shared my good news with my eldest son, Michael, his response to me was:  "That is awesome Mom, I am so happy for you."  He also said, "You are not the type of person who has time to be sick or the patience to be sick, you too strong."

When I shared my good new with Joseph his response to me was:  "I am so happy and proud of you.  I KNEW you would be okay.  This was not your destiny."

When I shared my good news with my friend Carmen her response to me was:  "This is beyond great news!  Awe Mellie... my cup runneth over for you.  I am so stinking happy for you and your family!  All your hard work and dedication is working!"  

We will NEVER know what each day will bring and we will never know our future.  But we can make the choice to live the best possible life we can live.... TODAY!
  

I am.......

I have a girlfriend who I am very close with, she knows more about me than most other people do.  She has seen me at my weakest, strongest, ugliest and at my best.  She is never judgmental and is always supportive.  She is very wise when she gives me encouragement and advice.  I truly love this woman and all that she gives to me and I try and do the same for her at any given moment.

The one thing she can not give me, however, is understanding of being worthy.

Just like me she can have issues in her life, marriage and career.  I try and support and counsel her on these areas when she is in need, just as she does for me. When she is low I try and pick her up, when she is high I celebrate with her, when she is alone I try and remind her she will never be alone.  But the one thing I can not give her either is the understanding of HER being worthy.

Why is so so difficult to understand our own self worth?  What happened in our lives that makes us think, deep down in the darkness of our feelings, we do not deserve to feel a certain way or take a certain path in our lives?  Why are we so quick to put ourselves down and tell ourselves, in maybe different ways, that we are not worthy?

My I am.... card today:

When I pulled this card out of my little bag this morning my first thought was I wasn't  worthy and I felt sad.  But why is that?  Why do I tell myself that?  Is it because I grew up in an unstable family that was emotionally and physically hard?  Was it because I allowed myself to be in relationships where people, friends included, can just take from me what they need and want and then walk away as if I was nothing to them at all?  Is it because I have been in failed romantic relationships that I did not walk away from until it go so bad there was nothing left of ME?  Is it because I did not grow up with a father and have always felt not good enough, even after I located him and told him about myself?  Could it be these circumstances?

Probably.

I would say these are good reasons to not feel worthy about myself.  As I am sure THOUSANDS of other people have their own trials and tribulations that make them feel not worthy.

So the question is now this..... how do I change this?  Because as I sit here and type this blog I KNOW I am worthy.  Not only am I worthy because I am a child of God, I am worthy because....... I just am.

I have every chance in this world as other people do.  I may have had a rough childhood and have had some tough times in my life but it has gotten me to this point and I am still here and I am still going.  I just need to remind myself that I am worthy and live each day or every moment having that in the forefront of my mind.  I will not be put off to the side, I will not be treated poorly, I will not be taken advantage of and I will not live in the darkness of thinking because of other people's decisions THEY make equates me to not being worthy.

I have done things to myself to allow me to get to this point.  I have allowed my own limited vision of myself enable me to be overwhelmed and hold myself back from reaching my goals or trying.  I have allowed my own dark feelings to prevent me from seeing the good in life.  I have focused too much time on what I don't have or what I have lost and failed to allow myself to celebrate who I am today.  

I am a strong woman.  I am loyal.  I am smart.  I am funny and I have the ability to help motivate and encourage others.

I am..... worthy!

This card is NOT going back into the bag.  I have placed the card on my computer, in addition it's now one of my screen savers on my phone. I want to be reminded everyday, at different times of the day, just how worthy I am.

I believe in myself and I will continue to believe in myself and keep that mindset until I achieve what I have set out to achieve!

What are you not feeling worthy about and what are some actions you can take to improve this?  We are all worthy and it is up to US to make ourselves feel that way!

~Mellie

A letter to my Youngest son....

Oh how the years go by,

Oh how time can certainly fly.
From once just a thought in far away dreams,
now into my arms and in my eyes gleam
the presence of you.
Your laughter and smiles
which go on for miles,
warms my heart and soul.
You're growing up so fast,
as I wish each moment with you to last forever.
My little boy will someday be a man
and right by your side I will forever stand.
I will pick up the pieces when you fall,
I will hold your hand and help you stand tall.
And when the day comes when you are on your own,
never feel that you are alone.
No matter how near or far apart
I am always right there in your heart.
Always remember whatever you go through
that no matter what, I will always love you.

~© Amy R. Campbell

My little Rups,

Over the past seven years, I have quietly watched you grow into the little boy that stands before me today.  You are kind, generous with not only your possessions but your love too. I do not think there is one mean bone in your body, because everyday you are all about making everyone feel good and happy. You are loved by all who meet you; you are adored by your siblings.

I will never forget the day your dad and I found out we were having a boy, I was so tickled to not only be able to help carry on the Galvan name, but I was honored that God had blessed me with yet another son.  You came into this world much too early weighing just over 4lbs..  You were born at 29 weeks, you were so little and fragile.  The hardest thing for us was to not be able to take you home from the hospital right away.  You were fed through a tube in your nose and trying to get you to eat just a few ounces of milk could take up to a 1/2 hour.  Other than being born early you were perfect.  You had the most beautiful skin and the littlest fingers and toes.  Every nurse in the NIC unit fell in love with you.  There was not one day where I would walk into that NIC unit and someone was not holding you.  Even at a few weeks old you were impacting the lives of others.

You are so smart, witty and you make your family laugh each and every day. The love you share with all of us is like no other.  Reuben, God gave me the most precious gift when he honored me with you.  I do not take being your mother lightly because I know you have great things ahead of you and you are going to make a huge impact on this world.  Your ability to turn a bad day into a great day by just the warmth of your hug is amazing.  Your caring personality shines in your eyes and draws others to you.  

As your mother, there is no sweeter sound than to hear you yell out "Mommy" when one of us comes home after not seeing each other that day.  Your sweet little voice and warm embrace is so special to me and I plan to carry those with me till the end of my days.

I love how outgoing you are and how you are so ready to care for anyone who needs it.  You have the ability to touch people and to help them and as you grow, I hope to continue to assist in you developing that trait.  You have the world at your finger tips, it's yours to take and I know you are going to do something great with it.

You are fearless too son.  Just this last school year there was a boy, known in the school as the tallest 3rd grader in school, who was picking on your sister Gabriella.  After hearing the story of how he was not being nice to YOUR sister, you took it upon yourself to confront the boy in the boys bathroom by yourself. You educate him on how he better leave his sister alone or be nice to her.  You told him Jesus would not be happy with the way he was acting and it needed to stop.  That boy never bothered your sister again.  No matter how old you, you have always cared and protected your siblings.  You truly have a heart of gold.

Today we celebrate your 7th birthday on this Earth and we celebrate the little man that you are.  Your family loves you very much Reuben and our lives would not be complete without you in it!

Happy Birthday Son!

~Love Mommy.

P.S. There is a "family secret" in our household that only two of the five kids were planned.  YOU were one of them son!  (smile)

http://flipagram.com/f/FSCa9p7GXD

Some of my favorite Reuben quotes:

Reuben talking to Gabriella:
Gabriella:  "Reuben, lets have a garage sale and sell all our toys!"
Reuben:  "Gabriella your CRAZY, I love ALL my toys!"

Reuben talking to Gabriella:
R- "I wonder when we are going to grow a new baby?" 
G- "What?  We aren't." 
R- "Yes, Mommy can grow us a new one, we just have to ask." 

Reuben and daddy were playing at dinner one night: 
D- "Reuben you better get that look off your face or I am going to fix you!"
R-"Don't fix me, I am not a toy I am Reuben!"

It's been 274 days since my life changed.....

274 days ago my life changed and I wrote this blog:

http://michellegalvan.blogspot.com/2013/10/rebirth-ree-burth-ree-burth-noun-1.html


Since that day of learning that I have MS my life has been a roller coaster of changes, challenges, and growing.  It has been full of ups and downs, new appreciations as well as new fears and new challenges.  But what is most important and what I want to focus on is that I am still here and I am still fighting, learning and growing and trying to be a better person in every area of my life

This morning I headed Kaiser in Salem for my first MRI since my diagnosis.  I would like to say that I am trusting God and putting positive thoughts out into the universe but the reality is I am scared out of my mind. Yesterday thinking about the upcoming MRI I tried to busy myself all day to keep my mind from wandering to that day, 274 days ago, when I thought at the time my life was going downhill and fast.

Joseph took me in for my MRI as he has done in the past as well as any major medical testing or event I have had to encounter.  Having him there to support me was a really big deal and allows me to relax more.  I am so claustrophobic as soon as I see the MRI machine I begin to shake, sweat and cry. Joseph stands outside of the MRI where my legs are laying out and will hold and caress my feet while the 45 minute procedure is being done.  Feeling his touch allows me to focus on the fact that I am not alone and I am not in the machine totally.  Even though I have my earplugs in I can still hill him telling me how much longer the current session is.  As you lay there 3 minutes can feel like three hours and just hearing him do a countdown for me... "2.5 minutes, 1 minute, 30 seconds"  as well as giving me encouragement all along the way tuns a scary procedure into something more bearable. Having him there allows me to focus on his voice and takes my mind off the confined space I am in.  I am not sure if I ever shared with him how powerful it is to have him there to support me, I am always thankful and tell him I appreciate him but I don't think he knows the true depths of his support for me and how it can change the outcome of something horrific into something that he tells me "I can do this."  No matter what is going on between the two of us, he has always been my support, my back bone and the one behind the scenes telling me...... "If anyone can do this Michelle, it's you!"

If you have to have an MRI I highly suggest that you take someone as well who can be there with you (You have to insist to the MRI specialist and refuse to take no for an answer) so that you too can have that support, kindness and someone there for you.

The reality I have learned is that my MS is not as bad as others.  Some can not walk, some are finding their motor skills deteriorating more and more each day and some are so lost in their own minds and the darkness it brings they have lost the will to try hard and stand up and fight.  My MS is the best kind to have, yes there is a best kind, because I have had the disease for many years and was able to fight it when I did not know I even had it.

Knowing that my fate will not consist of a wheelchair is a blessing but it still can allow my mind to take me to a place where I feel pity for myself or fear of the unknown.  The difference is I fight everyday to NOT allow that to happen.

Today my MRI is a big deal but in reality it will only be a picture of what has happened in the last 274 days to my brain if anything.  The medication I take, Copaxone, is a daily injection that fills my body with a chemical creating a fake Mylar that the MS can attack rather than the one on my brain.  This medication is to act as a shield for my brain to prevent further attacks and damage from the MS. The Copaxone takes six months to fully take an affect in my body.  My next MRI should be between 6 months to a year and that will tell us if the Copaxone is doing it's job and show no more new lesions on the brain.

Today will give me a idea of what, if any, new damage to my brain and to be used as a benchmark for the next MRI.

As I reflect over the past 273 days in regards to my care, I can see plenty of opportunities where I need to continue to improve my well being.  I NEED to cut back on my stress, I NEED to continue to explore new ways to relax and to free my mind.  I NEED to get back with my energy worker and I NEED to get myself back on a healthy and consistent gym and food plan to better my results. There is so much "study" on the affects of working out and eating certain types of food that can assist in your aid to managing MS and that is going to have to be my focus now.

Just like when I lost all my weight 4 years ago.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I had to sacrifice many areas of my life and ended up having to sacrifice friendships too that were not supportive of my new and healthy lifestyle.  I do not see that being the issue this time but today was a big eye opener and reminder, I have to get my bottoms in gear and make the changes I want to see to know that I am doing everything and anything to improve the outcome of my MS.  No one is going to do it for me and life is too precious to take chances and just sit back and think it will take care of itself.

So as scary as today was, it was also a moment to reflect and regroup and know it's time to get my plan in place to do all I can do to take care of myself! 

I am a fighter, in every aspect of my life... this will be no different for me.  I may have MS but I refuse to let MS have me!!!!

~Mellie

For information on how one doctor managed her MS and made some amazing changes to her disease check out her YouTube video.  This can be applied in all areas of life as well, MS or not.  Food has the power to change our lives and either heal us or kill us.....

http://youtu.be/KLjgBLwH3Wc

For more information on Multiple Sclerosis and how you can support finding a disease check out their website at: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/

My new love......

Yesterday, while out getting some food for my family, a woman I know commented on how good I looked.  She has known me for years and has not only seen me having baby after baby but witnessed my transformation when I lost all my weight.  She made a reference to my appearance looking so young I could pass as a teenager.  This of course made me laugh, a teenager? No, no way.  But I am noticing that people are commenting on my appearance and my skin more often than before. 

This got me thinking last night and I tried to analyze what was new for me that would make me look younger than I am and get the comments on my skin looking so nice.  Then I recalled, I switched my skin care product.  

My new love is what I want to share today!

evanhealy is the skin care that I have began using and have absolutely loved since trying it!  I bought a starter, sample kit, at Whole Foods and have now progressed into the true sizes.  I love this line for skin care because not only is it organic but the entire line is safe for our environment.  

I love the day moisturizer because it is so light and clean feeling it does not leave my face oily midway through the day at all.  The Facial toner is light and has aroma therapy in it that leaves my skin feeling cool and refreshed. The mask is light yet when it dries on my face I can feel it pulling the oil out allowing my pores to be clean and tight.  I mix the toner and the facial serum oil together to give my skin extra moisturizer around my eyes and my forehead.  

I can defiantly tell the difference from the expensive department store facial line I was using and apparently so can others!

If you are looking for skin care to help with your trouble spots, I would totally give this line a try.  There are several different aromas you can try... I use the rose but have purchased the lavender for friends of mine, who rave about it as well.  

Again, I purchased mine at Whole Foods but I am sure you can look on line and get it elsewhere too!  

If you want more information about the line here is the link to the company:  http://www.evanhealy.com/

My new love...... thank you for making my skin even better!