Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I am........

If you have been following my blog you know these cards are called the I Am...... Cards.  The idea is to pull a card each day to read a positive affirmation to fill your mind with.  By focusing on positive thoughts, you can change how you feel and the way you think.  It's a simple way to experience life in a new and exciting way, and to explore your mind with the thought behind the "I am".... card of the day.



empower

[em-pou-er]





verb (used with object)
1.
to give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means:
I empowered my agent to make the deal for me. The local ordinance empowers the board of health to close unsanitary restaurants.
2.
to enable or permit:
Wealth empowered him to live a comfortable life.

I feel like the word "empowered" is not only overused when describing oneself, but that the very "true" meaning of the word has been lost as well.  To me, empowered means: feeling confident, proud, passionate; being inspired and feeling full of life.  It's the feeling you have when you know YOU are in the driver's seat of your life, and YOU are doing what is needed to succeed in your life.  

Empowered does not mean we have control over others.  In fact, the truly powerful women are those who are self-empowered. 

Sadly, most of us do not feel this way in our daily lives and rarely feel this way at all. For most of us, we can get caught up in the situations of our life and find ourselves at the mercy of others.  For most of us, we are so use to being taken care of, we simply can not function without the approval or need of another person.  For most of us, we can feel trapped in situations and lost without an exit in sight. And for others we can feel not worthy and or invisible to those around us.
 
We all have the same opportunities in life. It is what we choose to do with those opportunities that set us apart from each other. Being empowered is celebrating yourself and your success and focusing on the good in your life.  How many times do you sit and think about the accomplishments you have made recently?  If you are like most, sadly, it is not often.  Often times, criticism or negative feedback given to you is probably running through your mind over and over again at all hours of the day and night.  To be empowered we must learn to rewire our thoughts and focus on the positive that we have done rather than reliving all the negatives.

Each day is a new chance to focus on the good and fill our minds with the positive.

To help you learn to rewire your brain and make a conscious effort to focus on the good in your life, sit down and write out a list of all the good things you have done.  Call it a brag sheet, a boast sheet, call it whatever you want. Whatever you call it, just write it out and place it somewhere you can see it each and everyday.  I, for one, like to use colored index cards.  They hang on my wall next to my work station and they provide me with a constant reminder of where I am going, what I have done, and who I really am.  Refer to this accomplishment sheet daily and allow yourself to feel motivated by what you have accomplished in your life.  Avoid thinking of the things you have not done or the opportunities you may have passed up, but rater rejoice in what is good. Seeing this and adding to it will give you an instant internal power boost!

In addition, try doing something that is new to you and out of your comfort zone.  A few years back I decided I was going to enter into my first 5K.  This may not be a big deal to some of you, but to me it was huge.  Not only was I not a runner at the time, but I despised running.  I would go above and beyond anything to avoid running.  But I made a commitment and I joined the Race for the Rose Marathon.  http://www.halfmarathons.net/usa_half_marathons_oregon_race_for_the_roses_half_marathon.html
 
I will never forget the morning of the run.  It was dark out. My entire family was asleep in our home, and I was up at the crack of dawn getting ready for my first run.  I was full of nerves and truly felt like I could be sick.

But I will also never forget the feeling when I was out there on the streets of downtown Portland with no one but myself, fighting the demons in my mind.

So many times I wanted to give up because the 3 miles run on the streets seemed to be more like 20 miles.  But I fought those demons in my head, and I pushed on. When I crossed that finish line, you would have thought I won the Boston Marathon.  I was so proud of myself. I felt so alive and so energized and at that very moment I knew... I could do anything I put my mind to.

I was empowered.

This is just a small portion of the things in my life that have made me feel empowered, but it demonstrates the ability that we all have inside of us to be empowered.  Think of one thing that scares you the most in your life and go out and do it.  Maybe you have always wanted to jump out of plane. Or maybe you have wanted to do a Tough Mudder run.  Perhaps you have wanted to learn to Salsa dance.  Maybe you have been wanting to talk to your boss about changing your hours at work or taking on a new task.  No matter what it is for you, figure one fear out and make an action plan to do accomplish this one fear.   The feeling of empowerment that will come to you will be like no other.

We should all feel empowered and we should all empower one another in our lives.  It is never too late to do something great, and it's never a bad thing to want to be a better version of yourself each and everyday.

I am...... empowered.
~Mellie 




Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Why is it so damn hard.......





Although I am not actively running my personal trainer business right now I am still helping others out there to understand, set and achieve their goals. Through the years of doing this the same question comes to me over and over again... "Mellie, why is it so damn hard?"

When I began my weight loss journey and transformation of my own life a few years back I had the same thoughts in my mind.  I remember my body hurting so much from the workouts, I was tired from the lack of sleep I wasn't getting and just trying to enjoy a meal was laced with thoughts of calories, fat and how long it would take me to work that meal off.  It was the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life and I have had 3 of my 5 kids naturally in child birth.  I would RATHER do natural child birth than have to go through what I went through getting healthy.  But with that being said it was the BEST thing I ever did for myself and to this day am 100% sure it saved my life.

I see so many friends pour their lives into their work.  They arrive early, skip lunches, stay late anything they can do to get ahead of the curve and get themselves ahead.  These same people are the ones who come to me asking for help on getting their personal lives under control.  It really amazes me how we, me included, can put 180% into our jobs or other things in our lives but we have a hard time putting even 20% into ourselves.

Why is it so damn hard?  Because you're changing your life!!!  You're changing a lifetime of bad habits, and changing your thought process that you have developed over the years. In addition you're trying to change years of damage to your body, mind and spirit.   Change is hard.  There is no way around it. There is no easy pill, there is no easy answer and there is no easy way out.  It has been said time and time again "You get what you put into it."

This comes in all areas of our lives not just getting healthy physically.  We need to consider our mental health as well and make sure that we are mentally taking care of ourselves.  We have to ensure that we are allowing our spirits to be filled with good habits and positive thoughts as well as actions.  One of the things I tell my clients when they start with me is to journal.  Getting your thoughts out of your mind and on paper is very therapeutic and really has helped me over the years.  This blog is an outlet for me.  I can get my thoughts out and in the process touch someone else life and hopefully let them know they are not alone in this world or in anything they are struggling with... we are all in this together.

Nothing in life is easy and the first step is always the hardest.  You have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired and make a decision that this is the road you are going to go down and you are not going to stop...ever.  No matter what YOUR road is... step back today and take inventory on your life.  Where is the majority of your time spent?  What are the areas you want to work on and think about how much time you are spending in those areas?  Is it enough?  Are you making any progress?  Are there other things you could do without right now to assist you getting to where you want or need to be?  Really think about your answers and see what YOU can do to get closer to where you want to be. 

For me my spirit and faith are the two areas that I need to change and improve.  Today I will make a decision to improve the amount of time I spend in these areas.  I will understand that I may have to give up something else to allow the extra time needed to devote to my goals but nothing in life is easy and sacrifice comes in every area of our lives when we are looking to change.  I am excited to know that I have the power, will power and ability to achieve anything I put my mind to.   I was able to change my entire body and lifestyle years ago and maintain thus I am able to do this as well.  

What are the changes you are looking to make?  Write out your goals today for your life.  Be as specific as you can be and be clear on the goal.  That is the first step in making any change in any area of life... you have to know where you are headed and then you can begin to make your plan to get yourself there.

You have one life to live... live it to the fullest!

~Mellie
  





Thursday, October 30, 2014

True strength......

 

 
 
This is generally the first thing I see each day when I wake up.  I hung this a few months ago as a reminder to carry myself with strength, dignity and to laugh more.  It's my belief that if you say something, think something or act a certain way enough times you can change the way your mind thinks and improve who you are as a person.  For example, when I lost all my baby weight and I weighed 130lbs when I looked in the mirror I still saw a girl who weighed 170lbs.  It took me a long time to retrain my thinking and the body image I had in my head to actually see the person who is really standing in the mirror.  A beautiful, healthy and athletic woman.  But it took time for me to retrain my mind and how I perceived myself.   It's my belief that we all have certain thoughts in our minds that should and can be retrained and we all have the power to be able to make the necessary changes.
 
But what happens when we fail at our new way of thinking or fail at our goals to improve who we are?  For some they throw in the towel and give up, for some they look at the next day as a new chance to do it better and for others they beat themselves up and relive the mistake over and over again.
 
I am an A to Z kind of girl.  This is a good quality about me because it helps me succeed and it helps me be persistent.  However, it's also a bad trait because when I find myself floating in between A and Z I feel like a failure.  When I feel like a failure I beat myself up. This can come in the form of berating myself in my mind or it can come in the form of abusing my body by doing things that are not in the healthy lifestyle I strive for each and every day.  Regardless of how I act out what I have learned over the years is I am very hard on myself and forget that it's okay to have failures and it's okay to make mistakes because no one is perfect.
 
I am a strong person.  I have always had the ability to overcome issues and circumstances that others may not have been so lucky to overcome.  I have always possessed the ability to just pick up the pieces and make the most of my situation without having to play a victim.  Have I always done my best with my best foot forward?  NO.  But that's what makes me human, makes me strong and not only be able to recognize my failures but accept them and try and learn from them.
 
There is no strength without challenge, adversity, resistance and most times pain.  The problems that make you want to throw your hands up in the air, or in my case beat myself up, will build your tenacity, courage, discipline and determination. 
 
When you face challenges in your life such as heartache, pain and someone coming against you, the best thing to do is simple... just stand there.  What I have came to understand in my life is that my strength comes from the ability to stand up, face the issue, don't back down to the resistance and know that I can walk through the challenge and come out stronger on the other side  That is true strength.  Strength doesn't mean that we won't mess up it just means that we will not allow the challenges to overcome us, we will not allow the heartache to define us and we will not allow the person coming against us to belittle ourselves..  It means we will stand up, stand tall, strong, proud and push through.  Because on the other side is where we will see clarity, find peace and do what's so important for all of us... continue to grow and be a better version of ourselves.
 
She is clothed in Strength........
 
~Mellie
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This little light of mine.....


This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Don't let Satan blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Don't let Satan blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Don't let Satan blow it out,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Shine all over
[name of town]

I'm gonna let it shine
Shine all over
[name of town]

I'm gonna let it shine
Shine all over
[name of town]
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine. 
As a small child my Aunt and Uncle use to take me to church every Sunday.  Each Sunday my Uncle Arnie would drive out to my house to pick me up.  I was the youngest of three kids and the only one interested in God and going to church.  We would drive back to my Uncle's home and pick up my Aunt and then the three of us would be off for a morning of gospel.  The funny part was I would always fall asleep during the sermon on my Aunt's lap, but being there and being apart of it prior to the nap was my favorite day of the week.  I felt special because I was the only one with them and it was our time together and my Uncle always made it fun.
"This Little Light of Mine" was one of my favorite songs as child and I recall.I would walk around my house all the time singing this in my head.  At the time I understood the message the words held but didn't understand the significance of it until later in my adult life.

We are all lights that shine.  Our lives are the flame on a candle that flicker in the light and dark.  Just like a flame our lives our precious and need to be cared for.  A strong wind or storm could come along and blow out your light if you allowed it to.  You have to fight daily to keep your light burning in every way of your life. You can not hide the light or allow it to be stolen from you.  You can not blow out your own light because things get too tough.  You have to stand strong each day, everyday and keep your flame going.

Driving home from taking the littles to school and the dog to his doggy daycare I was riding along a road called Stafford Road.  Anyone who lives in Oregon in the Lake Oswego/West Linn area know this road and how windy the road is.  Each morning I listen to the radio or my Itunes off my phone. 
Music to me is a window to my soul.  Anyone who knows me can tell what kind of mood I am in or how I am feeling in life by the music I listen to.  Music speaks to me in a way like no other.  Sometimes I think it's God sending me messages on the direction of life I am suppose to take. And sometimes a song can take me to an old happy memory and remind me that life is good and can be even better if I allow it. Then there are times when the music touches me so deep inside it brings tears to my eyes.  Today that was the case.  As I maneuvered my way down Stafford road the music filed my car and tears filled my eyes.  
As I wiped away some of the tears and went to reach for an item to use to clear the tears from my eyes I did not realize the truck in front of me had his turn signal on and was going to be making a left hand. But he did and I missed it.  I slammed on my breaks and immediately turned my wheel to the right to avoid hitting his truck.  My car went off the road and slid to a stop in a small embankment on the side.  In the minute seconds it took for all of this to occur and for me to grasp what almost happened I felt a warmth come over me and I heard these words...
"Your life is a light, it is MY light and it's not for you to waste." 
I gathered myself quickly and got myself back on the road, shaking trying to understand the words I heard in my head. As I continued to try and gather myself and calm down while driving home the song "Landslide" came on.  This song speaks to me in so many ways because of my life and the changes that have occurred in it.  It's a reminder that life changes, things happen out of our control and life can come crashing down on you. BUT you still have the ability to rise to the top and continue climbing your mountain.  You STILL have to keep your light burning.

I do not have some mind boggling message to share with everyone today, no lesson in life, no point of sharing this story except for the ONE person out there today who feels like their light is dying. 

Our light is NOT our own.  It belongs to our higher power, it belongs to our families, it belongs to our friends and it belongs to us.  We all have the ability to touch each others lives in a positive way and we all have the same struggles in life, just different circumstances.  Keep your light burning.  
Life is like a candle, the flame can be blown out in a split second and it will all be over.  Love your flame, keep it burning and don't waste it. 

Have a bright day everyone.

~Mellie 







Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Lost.......






I am always losing things. It is not unual for me to misplace an item over and over again.  Before I had cars that had key pads, I would misplace my keys all the time.  I could spend hours hunting for them and tearing my house and purses apart only to find them underneath the seat of my car or on top of a shelf somewhere.

I have lost my ID so many times that I use to have two just so I would have a backup.  My phone is constantly lost, yes my phone.  During the Fall I have this habit of sticking it in my boots so that I do not have to carry a purse and will forget over and over again it's in there.  Just recently I thought my phone had been stolen from a place I was having lunch.  I was SURE I knew who picked it up and took it.  I went into the AT&T store to shut the phone off and report it stolen only to feel the phone slide down my leg further into my boot.

When my littles were little I would leave anything and everything around for them.  Binkis would be lost, bottles left on top of cars as I drove away, entire diaper bags left in a store in the dressing room after changing their diapers.  Coats have been left hanging in bathrooms and I can not tell you how many times I have lost my wallet when being out.  My hubby use to joke with me that when we would leave somewhere we had been together he would just quietly follow behind me and pick up everything I left. When I would realize I had left something I would turn around quickly to tell him I had to go back and he would be there smiling holding the item.  It's really a sickness of mine. 

When you realize you have lost something and you know you can not find it I think we all think about replacing it as soon as possible. Knowing that we can replace the lost item allows us to cope with the loss.  But is it really ever the same?  Sure you can go out and get another one, maybe it will be the same color or the same style or maybe it will be a different version of what you had and that may seem exiting to some.  A new and better version.  But will it every truly make you happy or will you always be thinking about the old one?  The old item will have memories attached to it, it's apart of who you are and how you got to be where you are today.  It may have had damage to it that you knew exactly where the damage came from and have a great story behind it.  It may have wear marks that only you know about but love because it was apart of your daily life.  New might be shinny and exciting but it can never take the place of your history, it can never be fully replaced and that can leave you with a forever sadness.

Instant gratification is a huge burden that I fight with daily.  I have to try and teach my kids that things are to be valued, cared for, taken care of and cherished.  Sure I could replace something that has been lost but the value and pride of keeping it and holding onto it goes a lot further than the gratification of going out and getting a new one.

Life is not meant to have things come so easily to us.  We are not meant to replace anything and everything just to feel better about ourselves.  It's a hard pattern not to fall into but I really feel like if we could all just slow down, hunt for that item we are missing and do everything we can to find it and bring it home.. we would all be a little bit happier.

~Mellie