Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Love is not jealous- Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word for zeal and means "to burn with an intense fire" The scriptures pointedly says, "Wrath is a fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4)
There are two forms of jealousy: legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love turns their heart away from and replaces you with someone else in the mind, body or both. Illegitimate is in the opposition to love-one rooted in selfishness. This is jealousy of someone or of someone being more popular and can lead to feeling of hatred towards that person. When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse's biggest cheerleader and the captain of his or her fan club. Both of you became one and were to share the enjoyment of the other. Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It is time to let love, humility and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. It is time to let your mate's success draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.
I didn't burn my list but I did "dispose" of it. I do not have a hard time with disposing of a list of "negative things" about my hubby. These are not the things I focus on from day to day when I think of him. Each day my intention is to try and make his life a little easier and try and find a way for us to get closer. Some days I achieve this goal and some days I fail miserably at it.
We all have faults, we all have things we want to change about ourselves. Just because I am a child of God does not mean that I am perfect nor do I expect my hubby to be perfect. We are born of free will and with that comes learning and mistakes along the way. I admit when I first got married I thought I could "change" my hubby and it was a long time till I realized the only thing I have control over and have the ability to change is myself. I no longer spend my time wishing he would change. If there is something I wish he would not do anymore, I ask him not to do it. If that does not work then I try and turn it over to God and let it be between Him and my hubby. Really, there is nothing more I can do to help change things, he will have to want to change or it will never happen.
This chapter asked me how hard it was to burn the list, it really wasn't hard for me at all. I love my hubby, I KNOW he is the man for me and I KNOW he can be all that he wants to be in this marriage and in his life. I KNOW these negative attributes are not the only things that make him up and I know that he tries to overcome them. My hubby is a good man, he has a big heart and he loves his wife and family. He just has his own things he needs to work on and realize they do not define him and he does not have to let them rule his life or his choices. This list was easy to dispose of, because I know this is not the man my hubby is meant to be, this is not the man God meant for him to be. He will overcome, I will overcome my negative attributes so we can live the life we were meant to live...... together.
I am my hubby's biggest fan, I always have been and I always will. I made sure to do what the chapter told me and go out of my way to share with my hubby something I was proud about in his accomplishments. I never find it hard to praise my hubby because I know he is a good man and he works hard. It easy to be number two of his fan club and it always will be. (Number one of course is himself-smile)
I didn't burn my list but I did "dispose" of it. I do not have a hard time with disposing of a list of "negative things" about my hubby. These are not the things I focus on from day to day when I think of him. Each day my intention is to try and make his life a little easier and try and find a way for us to get closer. Some days I achieve this goal and some days I fail miserably at it.
We all have faults, we all have things we want to change about ourselves. Just because I am a child of God does not mean that I am perfect nor do I expect my hubby to be perfect. We are born of free will and with that comes learning and mistakes along the way. I admit when I first got married I thought I could "change" my hubby and it was a long time till I realized the only thing I have control over and have the ability to change is myself. I no longer spend my time wishing he would change. If there is something I wish he would not do anymore, I ask him not to do it. If that does not work then I try and turn it over to God and let it be between Him and my hubby. Really, there is nothing more I can do to help change things, he will have to want to change or it will never happen.
This chapter asked me how hard it was to burn the list, it really wasn't hard for me at all. I love my hubby, I KNOW he is the man for me and I KNOW he can be all that he wants to be in this marriage and in his life. I KNOW these negative attributes are not the only things that make him up and I know that he tries to overcome them. My hubby is a good man, he has a big heart and he loves his wife and family. He just has his own things he needs to work on and realize they do not define him and he does not have to let them rule his life or his choices. This list was easy to dispose of, because I know this is not the man my hubby is meant to be, this is not the man God meant for him to be. He will overcome, I will overcome my negative attributes so we can live the life we were meant to live...... together.
I am my hubby's biggest fan, I always have been and I always will. I made sure to do what the chapter told me and go out of my way to share with my hubby something I was proud about in his accomplishments. I never find it hard to praise my hubby because I know he is a good man and he works hard. It easy to be number two of his fan club and it always will be. (Number one of course is himself-smile)
~Mellie
********
I am a gem. I say this often (along with "I'm golden", "I'm awesome" and other related affirmations). Why? Well, in part because I am proud of myself--the day-to-day work I put in to benefit my family and those that count on me. I know I am both respected and liked (by most) of my employees. Today, out of the blue, an employee extended his hand to me and said he wanted to thank me for making him better at his job. He had a great month, and thought to thank me for working with him. This reminds me of why I do what I do.
But, I have faults. I have fears. I have insecurities. And, when I am not careful, they can bleed over into my family life. It is important that I continue to establish boundaries between my professional life, and family life. As I often tell my wife, I can't fire my kids so I need to continue to work with and develop them....but if I could....I kid the children.
My wife is incredible. Anyone that knows Michelle knows that she is honest, passionate, devoted to her God and family; she works and plays hard. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. I married her because I knew she was "the one." I remain married to her because I am in love with her more than the day I married her, and she is my constant motivation to be a better man...continue to make better choices.
My wife said something to me a few weeks ago, and she may have had one too many turkey burgers, but it was something to the effect of: People often think that I make you a better person; really, you make me a better woman, a better Michelle.
It's hard to explain how much these words mean to me, because as she said it to me, I can say the same thing to her. I think this is rare.
We have our disagreements. We have our issues. Most, we work through. Some, we continue to work through. We don't always agree on how we raise our kids, or decisions that each other makes. But, I know we respect each other. And, overall, vastly overall--we have common values that guide us. Most of all- we have love. Even in our darkest moment, or in the emotion of a....conversation...I respect her, I believe in her, and want to be with her. There is no where else I would rather be and no one else I would rather be with, than my wife.
Yes, we all have faults. But I truly had a difficult time creating a list of "negatives" because to me, she is who she is, and I love her for it. Her negatives, to me, are who she is. And, I love her...all of her, even the things I wish (and will continue to try!) I could change.
For this reason, I sing her praises.
********
I am a gem. I say this often (along with "I'm golden", "I'm awesome" and other related affirmations). Why? Well, in part because I am proud of myself--the day-to-day work I put in to benefit my family and those that count on me. I know I am both respected and liked (by most) of my employees. Today, out of the blue, an employee extended his hand to me and said he wanted to thank me for making him better at his job. He had a great month, and thought to thank me for working with him. This reminds me of why I do what I do.
But, I have faults. I have fears. I have insecurities. And, when I am not careful, they can bleed over into my family life. It is important that I continue to establish boundaries between my professional life, and family life. As I often tell my wife, I can't fire my kids so I need to continue to work with and develop them....but if I could....I kid the children.
My wife is incredible. Anyone that knows Michelle knows that she is honest, passionate, devoted to her God and family; she works and plays hard. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. I married her because I knew she was "the one." I remain married to her because I am in love with her more than the day I married her, and she is my constant motivation to be a better man...continue to make better choices.
My wife said something to me a few weeks ago, and she may have had one too many turkey burgers, but it was something to the effect of: People often think that I make you a better person; really, you make me a better woman, a better Michelle.
It's hard to explain how much these words mean to me, because as she said it to me, I can say the same thing to her. I think this is rare.
We have our disagreements. We have our issues. Most, we work through. Some, we continue to work through. We don't always agree on how we raise our kids, or decisions that each other makes. But, I know we respect each other. And, overall, vastly overall--we have common values that guide us. Most of all- we have love. Even in our darkest moment, or in the emotion of a....conversation...I respect her, I believe in her, and want to be with her. There is no where else I would rather be and no one else I would rather be with, than my wife.
Yes, we all have faults. But I truly had a difficult time creating a list of "negatives" because to me, she is who she is, and I love her for it. Her negatives, to me, are who she is. And, I love her...all of her, even the things I wish (and will continue to try!) I could change.
For this reason, I sing her praises.
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