You may be thinking that I’m going to give you some tips on how you
can change that husband or wife of yours who desperately needs changing,
right? Well, not really. I’m going to give you 7 things YOU must do
as you strive to have the marriage you’ve always dreamed of.
-Mark Merrill, focus on the family
I wonder how many people clicked on this article with the intent on hoping to learn something that they could do to CHANGE THEIR SPOUSE?? I bet more than we could count. I know, I USE to be this kind of person... what can I say to my hubby to make him change? What can I read to my hubby to make him change? What can I do to make him change? Change, change, change... WHY WON'T HE CHANGE?????? Uggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Well, it hit me one day like a brick.. maybe it was ME who needed to change. Circumstances have came up this past year that have really set me back as a person. I have been rocked to my core, I have had my feelings shattered and I have been dropped to my knees sobbing and begging God to help me..... then one time while on my knees I realized this is exactly where I needed to be... at the Mercy of God and in a moment where I could reflect on what I needed to do to improve my marriage vs always looking for what my hubby needed to do.
I have always been so quick to be able to point out what someone was doing wrong yet so slow and ignorant on what I was doing to assist that person. This does not mean that I take full responsibility for other people actions, but it does mean that I have learned and I continue to try and learn how my actions can affect those around me. Most importantly, my hubby.
The article goes on to list the 7 things you must do to have the marriage you desire and I agree with all 7 of them and will continue to work on them.
1. You must always make your spouse the top priority in your life.
2. You must serve your spouse, and sacrifice for your spouse, without expectation of anything in return.
3. You must empathize with your spouse. Feel what they feel.
4. You must control your tongue. Use it to build up, not tear down.
5. You must ask for forgiveness and forgive your spouse for any wrongs committed.
6. You must always, always be honest in everything.
7. Must love your spouse to make your spouse lovely
I am thankful for aticles like these not because I seek to find a quick fix for my hubby or my marriage, but it gives me a great reminder that I must learn to fix myself. I must treat my hubby like I want him to treat me and I must surrender everything I have no control over to God and let him deal with it. Marriage is hard and when you toss in work, family and money it gets harder and harder. But I know.. if we can just step back as a couple, remind ourselves that the love we share and the memories we hold are worth the struggle than I know everything will be alright.
I have the marriage I always dreamed of, now it's up to me to continue to work towards making it better than my dreams!
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