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Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

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Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Love Dare-Day Sixteen

Begin praying for your spouse's heart.  Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.

Love intercedes-- Beloved, I pray that in all aspects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.  You cannot change your spouse.  Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  Isn't that what happens when you try and change your mate?  It's frustration as the highest level.  At some point you need to realize that it's not something you can change.  But what you can do is become a wise farmer.  A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop.  He can not argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit.  What he can do is plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds, and then turn it over to God. This challenge is not about changing your spouse.  It's about you daring to love.  If yo take the Love Dare seriously, there is a high chance you will be personally changed from the inside out.  And if you carry out each dare your spouse will likely be changed and your marriage will begin to bloom.  It may take month, or even years. But regardless of the soil you're working with you are to plan for success.  You are to nurture the soil of your mate's heart and then depend on God for the results. God is sovereign.  He does things His way.  He's not a genie in a lamp that submits to your every wish. But He does love you and desires in intimate relationship with you.  This doesn't happen apart from prayer.  Prayer works best when coming from a humble heart that is in a right relationship with God and others.  The Bible says "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another."  Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults?  Do you really think it's for endless nagging?  No, it is for effective kneeling.  So turn your complaints into prayers and watch the Master work while you keep your hands clean. Pray for his heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for your responsibilities before God. Pray for truth to replace lie. Pray that forgiveness would replace bitterness.  Pray for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage.  And then pray for your hearts desires- for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)

"Have you ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into your spouse's hidden faults?  Do you really think it's for endless nagging?  No, it is for effective kneeling."  

This statement made me laugh yesterday when I read it but it also made me really think and reflect on what I was praying for and how I was going about it.  How many of us really want to change our spouses and think if we just do this or that we can get them to come around to our way of thinking?  I know I am guilty of this ten fold.  I am embarrassed to say it, but it's the truth.

I have always been able to tell when something is up with my hubby.  Maybe it is just a feeling at first, maybe it's a list of things that are adding up, maybe I don't find out the whole thing at first but eventually it all comes to me.  I have always thought this was Evil trying to fill my head and point things out to come against my marriage but when I read the statement above it hit home, perhaps it's really God showing me so I can get down on my knees and pray for him.

I am no saint.  I am not the wife of the year.  I have baggage from my life.  I have trust issues from here to Canada.  I listen but sometimes I do not hear.  I care but sometimes I do not love.  I give but sometimes I have resentment.  These are just some of the reasons I took this challenge and then invited my friends to do it with me.  I am not trying to proclaim that I am the wife of the year, I struggle with so many issues on my own then you add my hubby to the mix and sometimes we can be on a roller coaster of events that can change each day.

However, what I do know is this.... I WANT to be better.  I WANT to be a better wife.  I WANT to be off that roller coaster.  I WANT to listen and hear everything.  I WANT to care and give love in everything I do.  I WANT to give and not resent. I WANT my hubby to feel safe and have trust in me too.  I really feel as this challenge goes on I am growing on the inside and I am getting closer to God and in the end that will help my marriage.  

I did pray for my hubby and I had my three specific areas that I prayed for.  And for the first time I felt like I was REALLY praying.  I did not ask him to change my hubby, I did not ask him to get my hubby to do this or stop that.  I just prayed for him.  As I drifted off to sleep last night I prayed again this way for him and really felt a sense of peace.  I think I am finally learning how to pray.

***I have a couple friends who are struggling in their marriage.  I challenged them to take the Love Dare with me.  This is a 60 day love challenge based off the movie FireProof Your Marriage.  I have started this challenge in the past but not fully dove into it or completed it so I thought if I got these ladies to do it with me we could all work through it together.


I am always looking for ways to improve my marriage, my faith and my relationship with my hubby.  I am doing this for me more so than FOR him.  It is about changing who I am and who I want to be as a wife and mother and child of God.****

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