Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says,
"I was thinking of you today."
Yesterdays challenge was about not being selfish. When a husband puts his interest, desires, and priorities in front of his wife, that's a sign of selfishness. When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness. But love "does not seek it's own" (1 Corinthians 13:5) Loving couples-the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage- are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share their life with. That's because true love looks for ways to say "yes."
So my challenge yesterday was to do something for my hubby to show him I was thinking about him and I was loving him. The challenge said to buy something for him but my hubby doesn't like to have money spent on him. Sure, we will go out as a couple and pick things up for each other or we each go on line and get ourselves something like a new shirt or what have you. But going out and getting him a gift makes him a little uncomfortable so I knew I would have to tweak this gift to make it meaningful for my hubby.
What I choose to do was I sat with myself for a few moments and thought back over the years of our marriage. I made sure to focus only on the positive times in our lives and not get lost in any negative. I allowed my memories to flood my mind with things we had done as a couple over the years. Memories that were only about him and I, not the kids and us. That is when it came to me, the memory of a Vegas trip we took together.
We had just had Gabriella, she was only about 5 months old when my hubby decided we were going to Vegas and planned a trip for us. I had been to Vegas a handful of times prior to our marriage but this was the first time we were going as a married couple. This was a great time for us. He planned so many events and sight seeing attractions we had the time of our lives.
We saw Blue Man Group http://www.blueman.com/montecarlo?gclid=CL6fjoKlhLUCFQhyQgod1GYAzg,
we went to Tony N' Tina's Wedding http://www.showtickets.com/Las-Vegas-Shows/Tony-n-Tinas-Wedding/?cm_mmc=Paid+Search-_-google-_-Shows-_-Tony+n+Tinas_tony+and+tinas+wedding&mkwid=sKtnd4ivC&pcrid=16618406427&pmt=b&pkw=tony%20and%20tinas%20wedding&gclid=CPuD_9-khLUCFQhyQgod1GYAzg,
we went up to The Paris Hotel http://www.parislasvegas.com/?creativeproperty=PLV&source=PSx5x338619&site=google&act=LAV&cmp=LAV_PLVOcc.BMM&adg=Branded&kw=+paris_+vegas and went up the Eiffel Tower.
Our time was filled with so many little adventures but they were big in my heart because we were doing them together and my hubby went out of his way to plan them for us. It was a great time!
So rather than going out and buying my hubby something, I went into my box of things I keep and I dug out all the ticket stubs for the Vegas trip. I had saved all the napkins from the hotels we ate at, bars we went to, dance clubs, everything. I gathered all that mementos I had been saving from 7 years ago and wrote my hubby a note and gave them to him. My hopes was to show him how much that trip meant to me, how much our memories meant to me and how much I was thinking and loving him yesterday.
When I presented the gift to him I think he enjoyed looking through all the stuff and recalling what we did on that trip.
I know doing this 60 day challenge, even though I am only into day three, has helped me to look past current situations that might be a struggle for us now and recall the times in the past that has brought us here today. I really feel like this is a chance for me to renew myself as a wife to my hubby and allow myself the freedom to let go of all the junk that comes in a marriage of ten years.
Yesterday challenge forced me to ask myself:
Do you really want what's best for your hubby?
Do you really want your hubby to feel loved?
Do you really have your hubby's best interest in mind?
Does your hubby see you looking out for yourself first?
Whether I like it or not I have a reputation in the eyes of my hubby and those around me. I want to make sure it is a loving reputation and remind myself daily that my marriage is my purpose. Making my bond with my hubby to keep our marriage strong in the faces of the storms is one of my purposes. Not only for my kids but for ME. I do not work at my marriage only because I do not want my kids to come from a broken home.... I work for my marriage because he is the love of my life. He is the one I want to be with and he is the only one who has had a hold on me this tight and for this long. He is the only one I have heard the voice of God saying to me..... "you're not done Mellie.... stay strong... stay there.. and keep fighting."
Life is hard. Marriage is even harder. But we are meant to love one another and live a happy life that is based on love, respect and Christ like and I feel in this day and age with so many people trying to get instant gratification we forget the real reason we are here on Earth.... to be happy and live our lives as best as we can and to the fullest that we can with God in our hearts and a love by our side.
Today was a good challenge.... not only was I able to show my hubby love... I was able to remind myself of the love that we have together and tell myself... "Keep working, it will all be worth it in the end."
~Mellie
So my challenge yesterday was to do something for my hubby to show him I was thinking about him and I was loving him. The challenge said to buy something for him but my hubby doesn't like to have money spent on him. Sure, we will go out as a couple and pick things up for each other or we each go on line and get ourselves something like a new shirt or what have you. But going out and getting him a gift makes him a little uncomfortable so I knew I would have to tweak this gift to make it meaningful for my hubby.
What I choose to do was I sat with myself for a few moments and thought back over the years of our marriage. I made sure to focus only on the positive times in our lives and not get lost in any negative. I allowed my memories to flood my mind with things we had done as a couple over the years. Memories that were only about him and I, not the kids and us. That is when it came to me, the memory of a Vegas trip we took together.
We had just had Gabriella, she was only about 5 months old when my hubby decided we were going to Vegas and planned a trip for us. I had been to Vegas a handful of times prior to our marriage but this was the first time we were going as a married couple. This was a great time for us. He planned so many events and sight seeing attractions we had the time of our lives.
We saw Blue Man Group http://www.blueman.com/montecarlo?gclid=CL6fjoKlhLUCFQhyQgod1GYAzg,
we went to Tony N' Tina's Wedding http://www.showtickets.com/Las-Vegas-Shows/Tony-n-Tinas-Wedding/?cm_mmc=Paid+Search-_-google-_-Shows-_-Tony+n+Tinas_tony+and+tinas+wedding&mkwid=sKtnd4ivC&pcrid=16618406427&pmt=b&pkw=tony%20and%20tinas%20wedding&gclid=CPuD_9-khLUCFQhyQgod1GYAzg,
we went up to The Paris Hotel http://www.parislasvegas.com/?creativeproperty=PLV&source=PSx5x338619&site=google&act=LAV&cmp=LAV_PLVOcc.BMM&adg=Branded&kw=+paris_+vegas and went up the Eiffel Tower.
Our time was filled with so many little adventures but they were big in my heart because we were doing them together and my hubby went out of his way to plan them for us. It was a great time!
So rather than going out and buying my hubby something, I went into my box of things I keep and I dug out all the ticket stubs for the Vegas trip. I had saved all the napkins from the hotels we ate at, bars we went to, dance clubs, everything. I gathered all that mementos I had been saving from 7 years ago and wrote my hubby a note and gave them to him. My hopes was to show him how much that trip meant to me, how much our memories meant to me and how much I was thinking and loving him yesterday.
I know doing this 60 day challenge, even though I am only into day three, has helped me to look past current situations that might be a struggle for us now and recall the times in the past that has brought us here today. I really feel like this is a chance for me to renew myself as a wife to my hubby and allow myself the freedom to let go of all the junk that comes in a marriage of ten years.
Yesterday challenge forced me to ask myself:
Do you really want what's best for your hubby?
Do you really want your hubby to feel loved?
Do you really have your hubby's best interest in mind?
Does your hubby see you looking out for yourself first?
Whether I like it or not I have a reputation in the eyes of my hubby and those around me. I want to make sure it is a loving reputation and remind myself daily that my marriage is my purpose. Making my bond with my hubby to keep our marriage strong in the faces of the storms is one of my purposes. Not only for my kids but for ME. I do not work at my marriage only because I do not want my kids to come from a broken home.... I work for my marriage because he is the love of my life. He is the one I want to be with and he is the only one who has had a hold on me this tight and for this long. He is the only one I have heard the voice of God saying to me..... "you're not done Mellie.... stay strong... stay there.. and keep fighting."
Life is hard. Marriage is even harder. But we are meant to love one another and live a happy life that is based on love, respect and Christ like and I feel in this day and age with so many people trying to get instant gratification we forget the real reason we are here on Earth.... to be happy and live our lives as best as we can and to the fullest that we can with God in our hearts and a love by our side.
Today was a good challenge.... not only was I able to show my hubby love... I was able to remind myself of the love that we have together and tell myself... "Keep working, it will all be worth it in the end."
~Mellie
****I have a couple friends who are struggling in their marriage. I challenged them to take the Love Dare with me. This is a 60 day love challenge based off the movie FireProof Your Marriage. I have started this challenge in the past but not fully dove into it or completed it so I thought if I got these ladies to do it with me we could all work through it together.
http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-love-dare-paperback-p005180605
I am always looks for ways to improve my marriage, my faith and my relationship with my hubby. I am doing this for me more so than FOR him. It is about changing who I am and who I want to be as a wife and mother and child of God.****
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