The Love Dare-Day Nine

Think of a special way you'd like to greet your spouse today.  Do it with a smith and with enthusiasm.  Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Love makes good impressions- You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.  The bible speaks a lot about greeting others.  The apostle Paul took time to encourage his readers to greet one another warmly when they met.  It's probably something you don't think about often but how do you greet your spouse first thing in the morning, what is the look on your face when one returns from being gone to work or out?  What energy is in your voice when you speak to your spouse on the phone?  You probably never considered it-the difference it would make in your spouse's day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them.  It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic all the time.  But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in a subtle, unspoken way.

About four years ago I was driving in the car with my hubby.  For some reason that morning I had to drive into work with him, I do not recall the reason now but it doesn't matter.  You would think driving into work with my hubby would not have been a big deal but that morning I recall him being in a mood of all moods.  Nothing I said or did was right so when things were tough like that for us my response was to keep to myself as if not to rock the boat anymore.

This morning proved to be a challenge for me because he was not having the leave me alone and I will leave you alone tactic I had come up with in my mind.  At one point of the drive we were stopped at a light and I was looking straight ahead and he turned to me.  I remember thinking, "don't make eye contact just look forward."  That is when he said one of the most profound and hurtful things he has ever said to me. "You never smile, you just sit there and never smile."  Then he turned away from me began to drive again.  I remember thinking... "Smile?  What is there to smile about you have been a bear all morning long."  But it got me thinking.... he was right.  If I thought about my days and nights I did not walk around with a smile on my face most of the time.  Most of the time I was tired, struggling with a crying baby girl, trying to balance work and an infant at home and getting use to being married again after so many years on my own.  That day I decided I was going to start smiling more....even if I had to fake it.. that's what I was going to do.

I did not make this choice because my hubby spewed out his anger at me, I made this choice because I WANTED to have a smile on my face.  I WANTED to be happy about my life, I WANTED people to see me and see my smile.  So from that moment on I put a per-a-smile on.  

There were days I would have to fake that smile, oh boy did I have to fake it.  I use to joke with my girlfriend I was like the Joker in Batman with that stupid shit grin on his face.. that was me!  But I was determined to change that observation from my hubby into one that was a more positive observation that would not only make me happy but make him happy too.

Funny thing was, I didn't have to pretend long.  Pretty soon, I started to feel more happy because I forced that smile on my face.  I started to appreciate my life more and I honestly did feel more happy.  This is when I first learned I could train my mind to do whatever I wanted it to do.

"Train your mind and your body will follow,"  

I taught myself to be more happy with just putting a smile on my face.

I feel the same with this challenge.  I generally greet my hubby with a smile and a hope for a kiss when he walks through the door but to be honest with you there are days I am in a panic rush just to get things done before he gets home and before we have to start working on the challenges of the night.  This challenge reminded me that just like my smile I need to invest my time in my greeting of my spouse, and my kids for that matter, when they all return from their days.  Yes, I am tired. I may be working when they all come in.  I have had a long day too.   But taking a few moments out of my day to put that smile on and show my enthusiasm to each of them is not too much to ask of me. 

When my hubby came home last night, I made sure to stop what I was doing so that I could focus only on him when he came into the door.  His usual arrival is to chase the kids around the living room for about two minutes while they run from him.  So I just stood there waiting (and smiling) then  when he was done he came over to me and I greeted him with a smile, a hug and a kiss that not only made him feel loved and missed but made me feel even more happy he was home.  It was a great way to connect instantly with him from a long day of him being gone.  The rest of the night was a success and we had a great evening.

I am really beginning to enjoy these challenges because they give ME a chance to work on ME.  They remind me how God wants me to be in my marriage and in my life and they help me express my love, gratitude and desire for my hubby.

Today was another great day!

~Melllie

****I have a couple friends who are struggling in their marriage.  I challenged them to take the Love Dare with me.  This is a 60 day love challenge based off the movie FireProof Your Marriage.  I have started this challenge in the past but not fully dove into it or completed it so I thought if I got these ladies to do it with me we could all work through it together.

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I am always looking for ways to improve my marriage, my faith and my relationship with my hubby.  I am doing this for me more so than FOR him.  It is about changing who I am and who I want to be as a wife and mother and child of God.****