Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I am......

On my desk sits this cute bag that hold a bunch of little cards.
These cards are called the I Am...... Cards.  The idea is to pull a card each day to read a positive affirmation to fill your mind with.  By focusing on positive thoughts, you can change how you feel.  It's a simple way to experience life in a new and exciting way and to explore your mind with the thought behind the I am.... Card of the day.

I have not pulled a card from this bag in a few weeks.  Life has been a little overwhelming for me these past weeks, months and really years.  What I have allowed to happen in my life is I have allowed the negative to take over and I have only been focusing on what is wrong in my life rather than what is right.  I have allowed myself to have a limited vision of my life and I have only been focusing on my problems thus allowing them to overwhelm me.  There have been days where I have gone into hiding, I go into dark places and have closed out people in my life because I would rather hide from them than disappoint them.  I was starting to believe that I had no options and I had no way out of where I am right now, this was to be my reality.  At night I lay in my bed and when I am all alone with no one left to impress or to have to fake happiness to I found myself surrounded by fear and sorrow.

But this week I am coming to a new place in my mind and my heart and I am realizing that I owe it to myself and to my family to pick myself back up and not let the past define me.  It's time for me to decide, again, that I am going to stand up to life and I am going to be what I am suppose to be.  I am going to follow my dreams and I am going to follow my passion for what I want while I walk on this Earth.

Just now, I pulled a card from that bag and it reads this.......
What are the chances that the first card I pull in weeks is THIS card, and I pull it TODAY?  What an amazing realization for me that this card not only speaks to me to remind me of who I am, a strong woman, but to go along with the new thoughts that I am trying to allow into my mind and live each day by.

Today I was told how the brain releases chemicals to allow us to feel serenity and peace, this is called Serotonin.  In addition the brain releases Cortisol due to stress.  This is a way for the brain to ensure we continue to survive by giving us fear so that we do not do something that could harm us, anxiety to keep us from taking extra risks and gives us weary of something or someone that may harm us.  All with the goal to protect our brains thus keeping our bodies alive. It was interesting for me to hear how the two different chemicals affect the brain and the way we react to it being released.  It really made me realize, even more than I knew before, how my thoughts really will and do determine the way I live my life.

I have this story from my past that I like to share with people.  I was told one time that I did not smile enough, I always looked cranky and miserable.  So that day, I told myself no matter what I was going to just "sit and smile".  I did not care how funny or crazy I may appear I would just sit and smile and that way I could not be told I never smiled enough.  But what happened was I found myself being happier.  I noticed that walking or driving around with a smile on my face, regardless of how I felt that day, not only made me feel better but it made others smile at me.  So I learned to fake it till I could make it.  I like this story because it is a good reminder that I can do this with my thoughts too.

If something or someone comes against me my first reaction is to sit and think about how it affects me.  How is this going to affect my pride? How is this going to affect my family?  How is this going to make me FEEL?  What will others think of me as a person?  Will they see me weak, strong, crazy or emotional?  All these thoughts will come into my mind and send me spinning and usually gives me a knee jerk emotional reaction that I later will regret and most times makes things worse because they tend to never solve anything just leave me feeling emotional because I acted in a way that is not who I am as a person.

I am a strong person, I know this deep inside myself.  This does not mean I am a narcissist it just means I know who I am at the core of my being and I am a fighter.  I have lived a long life in my 40 years, a life full of struggle and battles to get me where I want to be and where I want my family to be. My tank may be just about empty and I may feel like I have depleted all my energy and am ready to throw in the towel but the truth is this is exactly where I WANT to be because this forces me to get up and succeed.  I want to be successful in every part of my life just as much as I want to breathe everyday.  I have no where to go but up from here and it is only up to me to choose if I am going to do it.

I may feel like I am at the end of my rope in certain areas but there is still time in my life to be who I want to be.  There is still time to correct mistakes and continue to fight for my life.  I still have a way out and I still have the chance to make this the best life I can have. The past does not define me, it needs to empower me!

So yes... I am.... strong.   And I am going to get back to living my life as a strong woman!  I am going to start following my dreams of writing and doing public speaking of some sort, I have big dreams I have not accomplished yet.... but I will.

What is in your life that is holding you back?  What fears, anxiety is out there keeping your from your moments in life of being happy?  What changes can you make to better yourself and improve where you are?

You... are strong.... live life like it!


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