Welcome to Mellie's mind...

Where thoughts can be funny, can race at all hours of the day and night and can sometimes not make any sense!

Enjoy the ride!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Love Dare-Day Two

Love is Kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.  

Yesterday's challenge was Being Kind.  Kindness is a love action.  If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive change.  The Bible key in this day's challenge is on the importance of kindness: "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  so you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man."  (Proverbs 3:3-4)

Day two was not really a challenge for me.  I was able to make sure the words coming out of my mouth to my hubby were only positive and loving words.  I did hold my tongue a few times when my EMOTIONS tried to take over me, so having this challenge in the forefront of my mind helped me determine those words were not needed and I discarded them. 

Yesterday was a mental battle for me because I am trying to learn trust again.  I feel so many time in my marriage I have forgiven and moved on only to have my trust broken over and over again.  I know my hubby understands this and deep down inside knows this, but it isn't something we openly talk about.  No one wants to admit that they hurt the one they love and no one wants to be faced with their mistakes over and over again. When you spend so many years together you seem to take turns hurting each other. Because of these issues my mind was running like Lance Armstrong running from his truth.  My mind was flooded with memories I did not want to be thinking about, as if they were a movie being played in my head.  So I battled this all day yesterday and I battled my lack of trust in people.  

But where I got my enjoyment from was when my hubby came home.  

Today I was challenged to do at least one unexpected gesture of kindness for him.  I thought about this all day and tried to rack my brain with what I would do for him that would be out of the norm.  I debated getting him a little treat, he has been working so hard at the gym I thought maybe a candy bar with a sweet message would be good-but then I realized this wasn't really being supportive to his goals.  Then I thought about getting him a gift, a new shirt, a new belt, something like that.  However, unlike me, to my hubby this isn't really something that shows him kindness.  Then it came to me.

For the past few months I have been making a book for my hubby.  It was a way for me to document things we had been doing as a couple, trips we had taken, memories we were building.  I wrote poems in the book, put pictures of us, songs that remind me of him or of our marriage... and letters.  Letters I would write to him when I was moved with an emotion.  I decided that today was the day I was meant to give this book to him and show him how much he means to me and show him how much the times we spend together are cherished in my heart.  I also wanted the book to represent a moment in his life where even with all the chaos that can go on between us, all the past hurts and all the current struggles... he is loved.  Loved for who he is, loved for the core of himself and not what he represents.  This book was meant to show him that no matter what... he has a place in my heart never occupied by anyone else and never will be again... he means that much to me.

So I gave him the book and I think he liked it, he seemed moved by it.  He told me no one has ever done anything like that for him.  I just smiled and told him I love him, honor him and he means the world to me.  He took a few minutes and looked through the book and seemed to like the pages, I hope he can see the love in the pages and the love behind each entry.  But, when we give gifts to the ones we love it is not about us and our expectations it is about them and they get to react in anyway they want to.  So many times in my past I have felt bad if someone did not react the way I wanted them to for a gift I gave, I had to learn it is not about me it is about them and making them happy and if they did not like the gift or appreciate it then I needed to do a better job next time!

Today is Day three and I am excited to get in my book and see what I am going to be focused on today and how this is going to improve my marriage, my faith and my partnership with my best friend.

It's a new day!  New Beginnings, new hope.  I am going to have a great day today and I hope you all do too as well!


***Reminder, I am not doing this challenge because my marriage is in trouble.. I am doing this challenge so I can walk a closer walk in my faith and be a better wife to my hubby.  With a marriage and relationship of 10 years you will have your ups and downs... I love my hubby, I adore him and my marriage and I strive to be better and better in my relationship with him and thought this would be a GREAT way to do it.  I share this with two friends who are struggling in their marriage.  We are doing it together to grow as women and wives. ***



  1. Love your blogs. Thank you for taking the time to share with us! You need to know that you are inspiring others by this! Thank you for trusting us and sharing with us! Is Joe able to read these? If so, why and if not, why? Just curious and want your input more than anything! :) Joe is one blessed man to have you! <3 Blessings, Trina

    1. Thank you so much Trina.. it is nice to know that my blogs inspire someone! Joe is able to read them, I do not think he does because I am not posting them on Facebook. But this challenge is for me, for me to learn to be a better wife and a better partner in life... so it's okay if he is not reading them. :) I am blessed to have Joe in my life. I have had a long and hard life and my marriage is part of that. We have taken turns over the years taking advantage of each other.. so neither of us is perfect. But I strive to be perfect and have a marriage that can last through all the storms. (I do look forward to the day the storms pass us by however! :) ) Thanks for reading my blog, please share on your page if you think anyone else would like to read it! ~Mellie